Former HR Worker Breaks Down ‘Insane Job Posting’ For An Executive Assistant

A recent entry in the popular “Antiwork” forum on Reddit breaks down what an 18-year human resources veteran and “former executive administrative assistant” describes as an “insane” job ad for a similar position, outlining the numerous red flags along the way. I

n a series of images, the Reddit user shows how the job, which is already advertised as both an administrative and personal assistant role combined into one, quickly becomes several jobs for the world’s most useless CEO, apparently.

The job ad was published by TGG Accounting, a small accounting firm with two office locations in Southern California.

Their website brags that they’ve been listed as a “San Diego Top Work Place by the Union-Tribune 6 times,” but doesn’t specify whether that includes the job of assistant to founder and CEO Matt Garrett.

The ad starts off okay, with only one red flag for “work hard, play hard” language, but quickly deteriorates.

The next bit gets a question mark for seeming to demand mind-reading capabilities, saying that the application shouldn’t “let people make assumptions,” as though that’s at all possible.

“So do they expect that everyone knows every answer to every question??” the Reddit user asks.

Even worse is the next bullet point, which earns a huge red flag.

“Even if you don’t have an immediate answer, respond immediately,” the ad says.

“This is the very definition of fostering a reaction over response culture,” writes the former assistant, accurately.

Then it starts to get weird. The next page of the ad says that the applicant will need to be responsible for Garrett to “focus on important things he is likely to neglect which include: working out, eating right, down-time, and fun.

So add a nutrition specialist and activities coordinator to this collection of jobs, or maybe Matt just needs a babysitter.

“Do I chew for him too?” the Redditor wonders.

Not only will the assistant need to keep Garrett focused on not doing his job, they’ll need to keep him focused on his job, or whatever the “vision” for the company is. But also, make him do it less?

“He is always going somewhere, and fast, so we need help slowing him down,” the ad explains.

“It’s giving Elon Musk if Elon Musk was an accountant named Matt,” says the OP.

The ad is then broken up into daily, monthly, quarterly, and annual tasks, and this is where they really start to add jobs onto the pile.

Daily tasks include “tidying up around the house” and “light meal prep,” so basically a combination housekeeper and chef. Additionally, it demands managing Garrett’s vacation rentals and getting to “0 inbox daily (both Matt and you),” which is an impossible job for anyone, anywhere, but especially with a CEO’s inbox. Emails don’t stop.

Under “Weekly Outcomes,” it lists things like grocery shopping and doing the guy’s laundry, and somehow also demands you deal with anything else conceivable in the universe that might come up for this manic accountant.

“Does this person live with their boss????” the Redditor demands.

By the time we get to quarterly tasks, it sounds like the assistant will actually be the CEO, and it’s entirely unclear what Garrett even does here.

“I have to tell him how much money he makes and analyze his clients [sic] portfolios?” the OP writes. “Soooo they are actually MY clients.”

After all that, the ad doesn’t even list the salary for whatever advanced android is supposed to fulfill this role, and the OP had to dig to find any listed benefits. With that massive list of responsibilities, they laughed at the offering of “unlimited PTO,” pointing out that the assistant would never have any time for a vacation.

The Reddit post ends with a photo of Garrett, coming to a simple conclusion.

“Because. Of course.”