Emily Duprie
Having a dress code in public places is generally for the best. As frustrating as it can be to get kicked out or not allowed in simply because you’re dressed too casually, the concept stands to allow for a nicer experience. Sometimes however, dress codes can be extremely uncalled for and even sexist.
One Redditor (u/Florida_Man666) was recently not allowed into a bar of all places simply because he was wearing a tank top in the summer. The women in crop tops inside however were no issue. He came to the “Am I The A-hole?” community on Reddit to see if he had been wrong for not abiding to his boyfriends request of changing shirts. Although it was a simple request, I can’t blame OP for not wanting to pay the establishment that discriminated against him.
Read the story in context below and check out some of the top comments on the post!
OP asked: “AITA for refusing to change shirts to appease a bar’s dress code?”
Last night, I (26m) was in line for a bar in my city. The line was pretty long and friends and I were standing out there for at least 10 minutes. My boyfriend (27m) was inside the bar already with his coworkers who I was supposed to meet that night. When I was almost to the bouncer checking IDs, another bouncer came to the line and informed me I wouldn’t be able to get in because I was wearing a tank top. (It’s summer and very hot here so it’s typical attire for men.) Several dudes behind me in line were also told the same. I said “really dude, why” and was told it was just “the rule”. My female friends in crop tops were apparently no issue.
He makes a valid point about the crop tops. He continues…
So we went across the street to a different bar, which was less crowded, cheaper drinks, and quieter music so we could actually have a conversation. I texted my boyfriend and told him we were at said bar because I wasn’t let in to the original one. He said “I think I have a shirt in my car”. I said sorry but I don’t want to give my money to the first bar if they don’t like how I dress. He said his coworkers really want to meet me. I said ok just come across the street, it’s quieter here and we can actually talk. He refused, and instead he and his coworkers ended up going to a different bar where I also couldn’t get in due to dress code. There are at least 10 bars within a 2 minute walk so there were several other options including the one our friends were waiting at already. I refused to change shirts and ditch our friends who didn’t want to go to the new bar and they agreed that I wasn’t being difficult to not want to change shirts. They are also my boyfriend’s friends first and foremost so they wouldn’t have been expected to take my side.
After a night of arguing OP explained:
Long story short my bf and I argued and didn’t spend the night together and I didn’t meet his coworkers. I was told I was being stubborn (I agree, but there are some things I stick to because of principles). AITA for not just changing?
He added an edit for clarification.
Edit because I think this is getting missed: about an hour later they left the first bar and went to another bar. Instead of coming across the street where I was waiting, they went to yet another bar with a dress code that was a few blocks away.
Redditors came to the conclusion that OP was “Not The A-hole.” Although, there was some mixed emotions about the situation:
