Emily Duprie
Anyone who’s gone through the struggles of life and love understands how difficult it can sometimes be to get over someone you were once in love with. People go into unhappy relationships and marriages all the time because they have not yet underwent the healing it takes to start clean with someone new.
After two years of no contact and an engagement with a lovely girl, a Redditor assumed that his brother would have been over his toxic ex, who we’ll call “Big Shirl.” After the groom got caught red-handed on the phone with Big Shirl at his own reception, all hell broke loose. Read the story in full along with some of the top comments below!
“My brother came over now and said that I “ruined his life” by telling me that Big Shirl had gotten in touch with me.”
OP asked: “AITA for telling my brother (I was his best man) that his toxic but “love of his life” ex was trying to get in touch with him the night before his wedding?”
Introducing “Big Shirl:”
Sorry I suck at writing. Please to forgive in advance.
My brother starting dating “Big Shirl” when he was in 6th grade. He’s 25 now to show how long this has been going on. To say that he and Big Shirl were toxic together is an understatement. They have well over a decade of torturing the fuck out of each other. To say they have broken up and gotten back together well over 1000 times is another understatement.
My entire family would go through the roller coaster ride with him and we’d always see him date a really nice girl, then Big Shirl would get in touch with promises of porno sex and he’d dump the nice girl and be right back into the Big Shirl’s arms.
Big Shirl hadn’t been around for a while…
It has been about 2 years since their last breakup and he met a girl named Karli who is literally a peach. We all love everything about her. My brother finally went no contact with Big Shirl at the time he met Karli and has had 2 years of relationship bliss. They got married on Saturday. My brother says he blocked Big Shirl on everything and I am inclined to believe him since it’s been 2 years since her stench has darkened our doors.
But she showed up again the day of the wedding:
We had a very low key bachelor party on Friday in that we played poker and smoked cigars. At about 11:30 Big Shirl texted me and asked if the wedding was really taking place. I said yes and to not bother him. She said to please let him know her heart was breaking but she’d be his personal bachelor party if he was so inclined.
OP decided to let his brother know what had happened.
I didn’t say anything to my brother that night but on the way from the ceremony to the reception I made a joke about Big Shirl contacting me and you could see the blood drain from his face. All he said was “thanks.”
Well later in the evening Karli caught my brother in the kitchen of the reception place on the phone with Big Shirl. They had a huge fight and while they tried to put on a good face for the rest of the reception…it was cold as ice for the rest of the night.
OP’s brother placed the blame of his fighting with Karli on him after she caught him on the phone with his ex.
My brother came over now and said that I “ruined his life” by telling me that Big Shirl had gotten in touch with me. I guess he and Karli have been fighting non stop since Saturday and there is talk of cancelling the honey moon.
My brother totally blames me and says I should have known better. Was I the asshole for telling him that Big Shirl was trying to get in touch with him?
It was fair for OP to think that after 2 years and a wedding, his brother had moved on from “Big Shirl.” Being blamed for his brothers own toxic behaviors wasn’t fair and if anything, damaging to their sibling relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP stops giving his brother advice and information altogether.
Commenters were on the fence about whether OP had made the right move. Overall, he was voted not the “A-hole.”
