Emily Duprie
As a kid, my parents would always take me out to eat after a sports game or school event. It made the event that much more special and was something I always looked forward to. We can all be a little picky when choosing where to eat, whether we’re the one paying or not. When I was in my early teens, I was especially moody, as most of us were. Despite being a raging hormone monster, my parents always did their best to teach me right from wrong, and I’d usually only make the mistake once or twice before learning my lesson.
Manners are one of the most important lessons a child can learn, and it’s easy to tell who got away with being rude and who didn’t as adults. When someone is offering to pay for your meal, it’s common decency to not complain about the restaurant of choice. On a recent Reddit post, one upset mother came forward about a recent situation with her daughters during their celebratory dinner after a dance competition. The members of the “Am I The A=hole?” community had a lot of parenting advice for this inquiring poster, u/CrabLegsandPrime.
Read the story in full along with some of the top comments below!
“…she asked if we are going to the Mexican restaurant tomorrow. I said not this week because of her behavior, but we’ll see next week. She wasn’t happy.”
This concerned mother asked: “AITA for telling daughter I’m disappointed in her and won’t take her out to a second restaurant?”
My daughters 14&16 are on the same dance team. Their team won a competition on Sunday, and we were all so excited and proud of them. After the competition, my dad suggested we go out to eat and said he would pay for wherever we wanted.
Older daughter, who loves seafood, has been asking for years to go to a restaurant that has unlimited crab legs, but it’s a very pricy restaurant, so we’ve never been able to. She immediately suggested this restaurant. My dad liked the suggestion. My younger daughter suggested we go to her favorite restaurant, a local Mexican restaurant, instead. We’ve been there many times, as it’s much more affordable. Knowing this would be a wasted opportunity, I said older daughter’s suggestion made more sense because it was somewhere we’d never been.
Younger daughter complained she wouldn’t like anything there, but I assured her the menu would have more than crab legs. We got there, and sure enough, there were many dishes that didn’t have seafood, including steak, youngest’s favorite. Even though there were dishes without seafood, youngest daughter said she wasn’t hungry because the restaurant “smelled weird.” I ordered her steak anyway.
Younger daughter pouted throughout the meal. She picked at her steak. Older daughter was very happy, and completely absorbed in the crab legs. My mom tried to talk to my younger daughter about the competition, but she wasn’t responsive. At the end of the meal, we were all stuffed except for youngest. My dad told everyone to pick a dessert to go, except for youngest because “she’s clearly not hungry.”
I asked my dad to leave her alone, and he did, but she was already upset. When we got home, I tried to talk to her. I explained that this was a rare opportunity and sometimes we need to let someone else have something nice. I told her I could have taken us to the Mexican restaurant this weekend. She said it’s not the same, because the restaurant we go to the night of the competition is special, and we went somewhere she didn’t like. I pointed out that she didn’t know she didn’t like it because she didn’t try it. She said I know she hates seafood and that the restaurant is known for its seafood, so of course she wouldn’t want to go there after a special event.
She was annoyed all Monday and Tuesday but started to mellow on Wednesday. This morning she asked if we are going to the Mexican restaurant tomorrow. I said not this week because of her behavior, but we’ll see next week. She wasn’t happy. Am I being too hard on her? I think she was very rude to her grandparents, but I know when you’re a teenager everything feels like a bigger deal than it is. Should I have just let her behavior slide and taken her to the Mexican restaurant?
Seems to me like OP’s youngest needs a serious reality check and should be grateful to have had the opportunity to eat with her family at a nicer restaurant. The mom isn’t in the wrong yet, but if she ends up taking her daughter to get Mexican food, she won’t ever learn the lesson of being grateful. Most of the Redditors commenting on the post agreed.
The top comments agree:
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