Hannah Riley
I hate to break it to you, but porn absolutely isn’t real. If this is the first time you’re hearing this, feel free to take a minute to collect yourself. Go take a break and watch some wrestling or reality tv shows and come back when you’re ready.
The people in porn aren’t having as much fun as it looks like. Any woman in porn is very likely faking that screaming orgasm and the men are definitely on some performance enhancing drugs to make them last longer. Everyone is shaved then greased down to make them look sexier for all of those people who are attracted to seals I guess. It’s all very confusing.
It’s pretty common that people’s first experience seeing sex acts is from watching porn. Some people get in depth sex education from their school, but most don’t and that means their first teacher is most likely going to be the internet. That means people have expectations about sex that aren’t rooted in reality and they try some pretty weird stuff that doesn’t actually feel good for their partner.
Someone on Reddit asked, What does porn glorify that actually isn’t that great in practice? The answers were definitely things that people on all sides of the aisle need to hear. The best way to make sure everyone has fun during sex is to communicate things you do and don’t like. It might be a little easier to do knowing that other people hate the same things you do.
1. Don’t twist please.
“Finger banging in the worst possible way (i.e. long nails and positioning it like it’s a dick).” -silsool
2. Sorry to ruin the fantasy.
“Scissoring. It is really hot, but it’s also an awful way to try to get off unless the two vulvas involved are set up in a very specific way, and nobody has large labia.” –bertrandite
3. You can’t just pop back and forth!
“Nonchalantly going from hole to hole.” –strangegeneration94
4. It’s almost like women have nerve endings!
“I can’t stand looking at guys crushing tits. Like they grab them and squeeze the hell out of them and it looks sooooooo painful. Titties are not like thigh or ass fat, it hurts like hell if you squeeze them too hard.” –hydratedries
5. Hopefully this makes guys feel better.
“Huge dicks. For a very small number of people, it works great. For most people, it’s just a lot of lube, going slow, discomfort, going slow, hitting a bad angle, changing it up, going slow, and not being able to hit the clit with the body.” –Snuffleupagus03
6. No more rug burns.
“Is no one going to mention the double-handed rug burn handjobs given all the time? If your hands are dripping with lube, that’s cool. Otherwise, it’s like you’re desperately trying to get the label off of a soda bottle.” –thesk8rguitarist
7. Why do you need to hold me in the air?
“The crazy sex positions. It’s fun for a second, but then it gets awkward and your legs/arms get tired.” –spercuoco
8. The sand gets everywhere.
“Sex on the beach (ew, sand) or in a pool. Also, those standing positions that are not very efficient…” –BirdBeast1
9. Have some patience.
“Losing your virginity. It gets a lot better after the fourth time.” –redlukeiahs
10. A good way to have them not want to do it again.
“Yanking the head back by the hair reallyyyy far while doing doggy. Shit is so bad for your neck.” –lalawasteland
11. Just not smart.
“Sex with strangers without condoms.” –ecassidykiss
12. Ouchie.
“Anal with no lube. Never tried it, but if I were to do so, no WAY that shit’s going in dry. That could cause legit injury.” –Johnmander
13. Please don’t do this.
“Rosebudding. Rosebudding is essentially an anal prolapse. It’s becoming way too popular in porn. Rosebudding is seen as something sexy, and something that every woman who engages in anal sex should strive to do. It’s not sexy, it’s not healthy, and it requires surgery to fix.” –Arkady2009
14. Why are you so hydrated?
“Cum fountains splattering all over the place. Her face, her hair, the couch, the carpet.” –Kinky_mofo
15. Let’s communicate.
“Skipping straight to sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong, sometimes all you gotta do is breathe in my direction and I’m ready to go, but most of the time I need foreplay. Lesson of the day: don’t underestimate the foreplay. It could change everything.” –_sadbitch_
16. It’s a bad idea all around.
“Having sex with your stepsister instead of helping her get unstuck from inside the washing machine.” –TheNooseBeckons
