Emily Duprie
Being humiliated in front of your partner’s friends is so embarrassing, and often elicits an aggressive response in defense. Sometimes our partners fail to stick up for us, especially when it comes to their friends, and in these cases, it’s our right to stand up for ourselves. What’s more so, being insulted by strangers you just met is even more frustrating.
A woman who recently had an uncomfortable situation at a party with her partner and his friends, turned to the Reddit community to ask if she had made the wrong choice by putting every person at the party in their place after they profiled and called her a “gold digger.”
Read the story in full below and check out some of the top comments. Redditors seem to think our OP wasn’t the “A-hole.”
OP asks: “AITA for telling my boyfriend’s friends I make twice what he does, when they called me a gold digger and he didn’t defend me?”
I’m in a relationship with a guy who also works in tech. He makes 68k and I make 130k. I am a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. He works at a more stable job doing programming at a large company.
He brought me to meet his friends at a party and they asked me about myself. His friends mostly work in tech too and talked about themselves in terms of their jobs.
OP explained her passions and hobbies in a humble and casual way, not expecting the Classist people around her to use it later on against her…
I told them I’m an hiker, I do archery, I love road trips and camping and riding dirtbikes, etc. Basically talking about my hobbies because work is just a way to get paid to do the shit I love. It’s not how I define myself and it doesn’t come to mind when someone wants me to tell them about myself.
One of his friends asked about work and I said “Oh gosh, I don’t wanna talk about work at a party! Spent my whole day sweating my ass off in 95 degree heat trying to replace this busted ass motor just to find the replacement part was also fucked.”
I wasn’t lying or trying to downplay that I have a good job, that really is how I spent my day, and I wasn’t in the mood to talk shop at a party!
Making your job your entire personality is lame and no one wants to talk about how much money you make when they’re trying to get drunk at a party. Our OP was doing everything right by not flaunting her status. It goes to show that those with true wealth have no need to tell others about it.
She continued…
Some other conversations came up casually that probably also made me seem poorer like me saying that car dealership repairs were a ripoff, and telling my boyfriend that my childhood neighbors trailer caught on fire and I was gonna visit and help her out.
I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I was literally just talking about my life, but I guess I gave the impression I was poorer.
It got later in the night, everyone was getting drunker, and some of his friends (not close ones tho) were making jokes about me growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger. And being ready to jump to a richer guy. Really misogynistic shit honestly, since they don’t even know me and seemed to just assume all girls are good diggers.
“I felt hurt he didn’t say anything.” Men stand up for your girlfriends! If they feel insulted after leaving a party with your friends, you did something very wrong.
He didn’t say anything. He later said it was because he’d smoked weed and gets quiet and has trouble carrying on a quick conversation when he’s high. But regardless I felt hurt he didn’t say anything.
I got irritated with his friends and asked “Now why the hell would you say that when I make twice what he does?” His friends went quiet for a second and I continued saying “There ain’t no gold to dig here, not with him or anyone at this party. So do y’all think I’m cheap, or do y’all think I’m stupid?
My boyfriend wanted to leave the party shortly after and he was pretty upset with me for telling everyone I make twice what he does. I said I would have held my tongue if he’d checked his friends himself. But he didn’t say anything so I wasn’t about to let them talk to me like that.
He said it was humiliating and now everyone thinks I’m a bitch, and I flippantly said “at least they know I’m a rich bitch.”
He was angry I embarrassed him when I spoke up, I was angry I had to say anything at all because his friends were talking shit so it should be on him to check them. Stuff is still tense.
AITA for explaining why I’m not a gold digger?
u/notAGoldDiggerX
Rich b*tch for the win! Commenters had a few things to say about OP’s suddenly mute boyfriend…
