Emily Duprie
Going out to eat can either be a new and exotic experience where you branch out and try new things, or it can be a comfort zone hobby in which you order what you know is hard to get wrong. Like, chicken strips, pasta, or a cheeseburger.
Sometimes, we order a meal with the intention of trying something new. However, once it gets to our table and we dig in, we discover that it’s actually not for us. In this instance, you either deal with the loss, or order something different. If you’re out with others, you’ll sometimes get lucky enough that they’ll offer you a bite or two of their food to make you (and themselves) feel better.
One big no-no, that most adults understand is absurd behavior, is asking someone at your table to switch meals with you. After all, who would say “Sure!! I’ll take your meal that you just said was awful! You can have my meal that I actually ordered and was looking forward to!” No one, that’s who.
Well, in the subreddit “Am I The A-hole?” one confused(?) gf came forward after she did exactly that to her poor boyfriend. Unfortunately for her, asking her too-kind partner to eat her squid and give her his cheeseburger was the breaking point. Now she’s wondering if she had been wrong for doing this, especially since her man has yet to call her back.
Read the story in full below, along with some of the top comments!
OP asked: “AITA for asking (not insisting) that my BF switch meals with me when I don’t like what I’ve ordered at a restaurant ?”
Using a throwaway account since I’m a founder and moderator on my city’s subreddit and my BF could easily see this.
After clearing the air that this hyper-specific post “could” be seen by her boyfriend, OP began her story.
I have been friends with my BF for years, actually together for about 3 months now. He’s the sweetest guy and I know he’s been seriously hurt in the past and I’m so happy we are finally clicking after being “flirt buddies” since MS (we are 25 now).
She then explained some context to the conflict.
Whenever we go out to eat he always orders the most basic thing—99% of the time it’s cheeseburger plain, ketchup on the side with honey mustard to dip his fries. He actually loves exotic food but he says that menus and making choices stresses him out so he doesn’t want to put thought into it. I love trying exotic things and to me that’s the reason to go out to eat. To me it’s so exciting.
My issue is things always look and sound better than they turn out and I decide that I actually just wanted a burger. So usually I’ll ask him if he’ll switch with me and he always does and he never complains. Most of the time he even says how good his food was. To me it’s a win for both of us, it gets him out of his comfort zone and we don’t waste food.
So she explained…
Last night we both had to work really late so we met up at a sports bar. They were having a calamari special which sounded really good, he ordered a cheeseburger as usual.
Apparently, despite wanting to try the calamari, OP just wasn’t feeling it. She then asked her cheeseburger boyfriend to switch with her, assuming he would just fold over and do so. To her surprise, his response was different than usual.
I just wasn’t feeling the calamari when it came out so I asked if he’d switch with me. He said no. I asked him why not and said I didn’t want it to go to waste. He said then you shouldn’t have ducking ordered it. I was like “excuse me.”
He the went into a tirade and said I treat him like a “garbage disposal”, he’s a grown man, I’m being immature, don’t pin my crap on him, etc… I said it sounded like that was a rehearsed speech. He said maybe it was since I “insist” on stealing his food every time we go somewhere. I started crying and he (edited) said “don’t start that bullshit with me, here have both meals.” and he got up and walked out.
Yeesh. After being absolutely annihilated in the sports bar, OP figured she better start self-reflecting. To get some advice, she called her sister.
He has not called or texted me and it’s 6am and I honestly thought he would call to apologize by now. I called my sister and near quote “you’re an asshole for waking me up at 5:30 and he’s going to see you asking as insisting…that’s really crappy of you to put that pressure on him.” And she basically hung up.
She wondered…
since she said it…AITA ?
Distraught and confused, OP added an edit to the post after her boyfriend finally called.
EDIT: well he called and didn’t even let me get a word in and said he needs a break and that if he hasn’t been happy in the first three months then the relationship isn’t for him. I guess you all are proved correct and I’m an asshole and now a single asshole.
Redditors tagged OP as the “A-hole,” which given the circumstances, is completely valid. Below are some of the top comments from the post.
