Emily Duprie
It’s common wedding etiquette to buy the couple-to-be a gift, usually from their registry. It’s also wedding etiquette to cancel or return the gifts if for some reason, the “date” isn’t saved. After all, when you bring a pre-selected gift to a wedding, it sort of acts as your ticket to the open bar and free meal.
One puzzled woman (u/Relative_Attempt6316) recently asked the subreddit, “AITA?” if she was in the wrong for cancelling a wedding gift after her SIL and fiance broke up. When the gift was “never delivered,” OP’s (original poster’s) SIL called and mentioned how she was afraid it had been stolen. After realizing that her SIL was still expecting her gift, OP hesitantly told her she had cancelled it. Read her story below, along with some of the top comments, and let us know what you think!
OP asked Reddit: “AITA for canceling a wedding gift when the wedding was canceled?”
My husband’s sister was supposed to be married in September. I chose an item from the registry, but the exact item she had added had a weird detail (she had explicitly mentioned previously needing option A, but on the registry she accidentally listed option B) so I asked her to make sure I got what she needed. So, she knew exactly what I was planning to gift.
After the hassle of selecting the right gift, something unfortunate happened.
Sadly they have now broken up. The gift hadn’t shipped yet anyway, so I canceled it.
Makes sense?
This past week she reached out to me about it. Since she knew I was purchasing it and we live far away, she was concerned that it had been delivered but someone had stolen it. When I explained that I had canceled it, she was pretty upset.
OP’s SIL was pretty upset about her gift being cancelled regardless of the wedding being called off.
My MIL has now reached out to us about it and feels that I was unkind to cancel the order. She feels that since my SIL is clearly going through a difficult time, and the holidays are approaching, it would’ve been more appropriate to let the gift reach her anyway.
Obviously these are unfortunate circumstances, but this was a substantial gift ($700) and pretty well above the threshold of what I’d normally spend for a typical holiday gift.
$700 is pretty steep for a Christmas present, OP did what most would do. She finished her story…
(Before it comes up, I’ll mention short and sweet that my husband is in the military and currently deployed, so that’s why he isn’t a big piece in this puzzle and I’m soloing this awkward adventure).
It was already a red flag with the bride “accidentally” messed up the registry. A $700 gift is pretty steep for a wedding, and for any event. OP should never have had to feel guilty and her SIL should never have called to ask about the gift. She should have known that once her wedding was called off, so were the items on the way! Redditors voted OP as “Not the A-hole.”
People in the comments agreed that it’s customary to return wedding gifts if the wedding gets called off. This makes sense, given that the gifts are intended for the couple as a unit and not to be divided between the two.
