Recently, u/rate_my_pizza asked Reddit users to share the biggest lessons they’ve learned from heartbreak.
Here are the answers worth reading.
1.
There are always men who will want to take advantage of how I feel about them. Theywill lead me on, give me hope and then abandon me once their fun is over. If I feel instantly attracted to someone, I don’t show it anymore. I wait and see what they’re like really, and then make a decision. I will not be used again. –loss-jpg
2.
Not to ignore the red flags. I had multiple red flags with my ex where he made it so blatantly obvious he would choose anything else above me (his guy friends, shadily texting an ex when I had told him it made me uncomfortable etc) but I chose to believe whatever excuses he’d give me because I loved him so much & love conquers all right? Nah, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. The right person won’t put any of those thoughts in my mind. –lindsyeg
3.
I’m not entitled to anything from any guy. Just because I want it to happen doesn’t mean it will. –DunmerLover
4.
That you’re actually fine on your own. When you’re codependent it’s very hard to see yourself being ok without that person. It’s the best feeling to know you are actually fine without them! –AnneFranksDrumSolo
5.
If someone really valued and cared about you, you don’t even have to ask and plead them to show you effort and affection. Actions tell you more than words so stop making excuses for them. –catherine-asdfghjkl
6.
Trust your gut. Abuse doesn’t need to leave bruises. –Lindaero
7.
I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. –Ruphuz
8.
That sometimes walking away isn’t “giving up”. I use to think that it was and that everything could be fixed by talking about it and fighting to make it work no matter what but a good lesson to learn is knowing when something is dead and not worth your energy and when it can/should be saved. –MuffinBottomTop
9.
Love isn’t enough. There’s so many other factors needed to make a relationship work. Sometimes you love someone so much you need to let them go so you can both be happier. –qaxwsxedc
10.
It doesn’t matter how safe or secure, or how much love there might be in the relationship, nothing is ever permanent.
That happiness comes from within. There is no timeline or deadline for healing. Healing is not linear. It’s important to love yourself first before you love anyone else, and it’s something that is incorporated within your lifestyle that’s to be practiced daily.
Focusing on yourself, career, ambitions, health, friends, family will nurture and cultivate the self-love. –tiptoptiffy
11.
Set boundaries and hold to them. If they break one then they feel they can break them all. –tallcappy
12.
Just because you’ve taken a big break from someone you know is toxic, and then reconnected, doesn’t mean they care about you more than they did before if that all. –mynameis_reek
13.
You shouldn’t have to give up your body to make him stay. –thelonearchaeologist
14.
If you feel like you’re in a relationship with someone but they never make it clear or official, then it’s not a relationship and it’s time to move on. Some people just like having you around for their own ego, or keeping you around just in case. –fluckyou
15.
If someone tells you they aren’t good for you, listen. Never get back with an ex. –urask8rh8er