Relationship triangles are the worst, especially when one of the people in it isn’t even on this earth anymore. That’s the situation u/Throwaway00871613 has found himself in after impregnating his fiancée, a woman who he had been dating for eight months when she found out she was pregnant. They got engaged, and two weeks ago the baby was born.
This might all be rushed, but not too strange. Except, he explains, this isn’t the first time she’s been engaged:
I learned that she was engaged to her late fiancé for 4 years but he got sick and passed away at a young age, She told me she had recurrent dreams about him, I wasn’t upset because no one controls what they see in their dreams, but sometimes she mumbles his name and visits his grave on his birthdays and still keeps their rings in our house.
That sounds very painful for both of them honestly. But like he was accepting it overall. Then she went into labor and when they got to the hospital, things popped off:
Her labor lasted longer than expected, her mom arrived when she was taken to the delivery room, she was feeling so much stress and even cried which made it more difficult, I tried to reassure her and told her to think about are baby and just focus on that, She suddenly started screaming, first she yelled her deceased dad’s name, then let go of my hand and started yelling out her deceased fiancé’s name and just continued to yell that name at the top of her lungs.
I was shocked I didn’t know how to act, I was upset I get she was feeling stress but I don’t get why she kept calling his name, til the point where the nurse wanted to ask me something and used the name my fiancé was calling out to call me thinking It was my name, I was so embarrassed for having to correct her as she looked confused, I tried to calm my fiancé down but she continued so I just walked out and told her mom to go be with her, I felt absolutely awful, I sat outside, I was literally shaking.
After the baby came home with the OP and his fiancée. She was not happy:
My fiancé returned home and started berating me for walking out on her like that and told me that what I did was unacceptable, I told her why but she completely avoided this and tried to say That it didn’t matter and that I was being ridiculous while she was feeling pain, we argued about it and she brought up that she called out the names of the two most important people in her life then went into the bedroom leaving me feeling awful and guilty, she is expecting an apology and wants me to take her to stay at her mom’s for a few days since I was making her stressed out.
The OP wants to know if he was wrong to have walked out when his fiancée was calling the name of her late lover.
It seems like people generally think his fiancée was in the wrong, especially for saying how her dead fiancé was more important than her current living fiancé and their baby:
My personal perspective goes a bit against the grain. It’s hard to know what will come out of your mouth during some of the most excruciating pain of your life. They’ve also known each other for less than half the time she knew this other person, and grief can mess you up. So can birth, and she’s only two weeks out and could have postpartum or who knows what. But I do agree with this:
Get some therapy, you two, because your baby deserves better than this.
More parenting AITA:
- Mom With 3-Week-Old Baby Isn’t Sure How To Tell Dad To Stay Home From 5-Day “Boy’s Trip”
- Mom Asks For Advice After Her 12-Y.O. Is Asked To Help Pay For Bachelorette Party
- Husband Asks Pregnant Wife To Take Care Of Baby Conceived During His Affair
- Man Asks If He Shouldn’t Have Told His Wife Who Gave Birth In February To Dress Sexier