Lindsey Weedston
Lizzie Fenton is a scientist specializing in genetics and cell biology and is also pretty good at making convincing slideshow presentations, such as the one she made for her crush in an attempt to convince him to go out with her.
Fenton shared her amazing PowerPoint with the world via Twitter and now everyone is enjoying her work.
Lizzy Fenton posted screenshots of the slideshow back in 2017, and they’re still making people laugh today.
The presentation, titled “Why You Should Date Me,” includes points such as the fact that she’s financially independent, she looks good in multiple hairstyles, moms like her, and that her breasts seem to be increasing in size over time.
“I am a tantalizing conversationalist and can hold riveting table talk with your parents,” Fenton argued in bullet points. “I am well dressed and will look classy at Thanksgiving dinner, family reunions, and other events of the like.”
The next slide argued that if her crush wasn’t into monogamy, the fact that her curly hair can result in wildly different looks depending on the circumstances would seem like “having three different girlfriends.”
The boobs slide, however, is probably the funniest. Being a scientist, she used complex calculations (or at least it looks complex to us creatives), as well as a line graph and photos for reference showing undeniable growth. If not the breast enlargement slide, then it’s the one where she listed clearly fake quotes from “critics” giving her wild praise as the world’s most perfect girlfriend.
“Wanted to ask her out but she’s way out of my league,” Channing Tatum did not say.
“[Lizzy] is as pungent as a lilac tree in bloom,” reads a quote that did not appear in the New York Times. “A dry and aphoristic wit — the voice of a grown-up — undercuts the youthful ardor. [Lizzy] isn’t sexy in the mechanical, aerobic way we’ve come to associate with ‘eroticism.’ Instead she expands upon the notion of sexual passion to include many forms of intimacy…”
She also had Carter’s hypothetical ex-girlfriend calling him “old sport.” Fantastic.
In the end, and for reasons beyond human comprehension, Carter did not take Fenton up on her offer of romantic entanglement, sending a short and clear message that he wasn’t interested.
But people are giving her mad props.
Even Microsoft replied to her tweet to compliment her PowerPoint skills.
The rejection is his right, of course, as baffling as it may be to the rest of us that anyone would or could pass up such a prize opportunity. Fenton, however, appears to have moved on from Carter and is now dating an attractive doctor.
