we were both 14 and went to see a movie. before the movie had even started, he said he was going to go get nachos. he never came back.
he did not know this but at least my entire family was also in the theater, in the back row, because they “also really wanted to see the movie”. https://t.co/uJ5NZAhqFN
— rosie (@rosiesherm) January 20, 2020
I went over to this guys house for dinner and drinks and he was a bit off. So I went to the bathroom and he has a DILDO in his tub and he came running in and was like WAiiT and I’m standing there looking at it… i gave him a courtesy 20 minutes then left pic.twitter.com/Kfy2a7FlXw
— ТИМА (@moonresidue) January 19, 2020
By “cried” I mean “with full tears”
— Lizard Liz (@_lizzyhamilton) January 19, 2020
guy brought me to his therapist (I thought we were gonna do errands). When his therapist greeted us in the waiting room, she looked frustrated and told him she “was not going to do this with him again”.
I never got any more answers on any part of that. https://t.co/eq6lCqwprT
— zoë “dame judy stench” quinn (@UnburntWitch) January 20, 2020
she told me about how she loved doing kegels and later got up to go to the bathroom. when she came back she showed me a stone egg that she put in her vagina the night before and forgot about it. she laid an egg in the bathroom during the date… https://t.co/QBL8xDEQwq
— Mimi’s Tweeter Indulgence (@mimidrawss) January 20, 2020
ok so he definitely has killed at least one baby
— caitlyn cook (@cat_qcook) January 19, 2020
On a blind date, the girl orders Caesar salad and eats it with her hands! Tells me she’s “not big into utensils”. After eating she asks me if I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and invites me to confession.
— Rich (@crackUup) January 19, 2020
(2) we hid the weed real quick and the cops started questioning us and threatening us to tell the truth because they could smell the drugs and they raided the apartment building. My neighbors were running a coke operation. We got off the hook, the cops left.
— Jenna Bevins (@BevinsIsBevins) January 19, 2020
I met a guy on a dating site, we met up at his house (I was young and dumb), we played COD Black Ops for 3 hours while his 6 tiny dogs barked, I left, got halfway home amd got a text from him apologizing for not asking to have sex. I’m still baffled and it’s been like 15 yrs. https://t.co/MIb6RvH0Se
— LadyVader (@RavenPresser) January 20, 2020
He kissed me and pulled back and said ‘wait there’s just a little…’ I was embarrassed I thought I had something in my teeth he put his hand in my mouth and said I think this tooth is wobbly, I was 19 with all my adult teeth
— Vanilla AlmondMilk (@dadfancier) January 19, 2020