Christmas is such an overwhelming cultural phenomenon in most Western countries, it’s hard to imagine anyone not picking up on the basics of the holiday, even if they don’t observe it.
A Canadian man named Mohammad Hussain claims on Twitter that this is essentially his first Christmas. His family is Muslim and obviously don’t celebrate it and he generally goes to see his family over the Christmas break.
This year, COVID-19 is keeping him with his roommates, who are going whole hog on celebrating.
Hussain seems to have approached this Christmas from an anthropological standpoint, becoming the Jane Goodall of his apartment. He started sharing his observations about the ceremonial trappings and traditions he never noticed before on Twitter:
Growing up, my Muslim family never celebrated Christmas. This year I am not going home, because pandemic, so my roommates are teaching me how to have my first proper Christmas.
I am approaching this with anthropological precision.
Here are a few observations. pic.twitter.com/1WARv5nax4
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
First, he noted how much work it is to make the whole thing come together. It’s not just a tree in a stand and some wrapped gifts. It’s work to make everything happen:
Do you want to sleep in on a Saturday? Too bad. Go put up some lights inside the house.
Oh you want to sleep in on Sunday? Too bad. Go put up some lights outside the house.
Next weekend? Nope. Every free moment you have will be spent agonizing over the gifts you must buy.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
He noted how much of what people eat on Christmas is attached to childhood memories:
Observation 2: People have very strong feelings about their Christmas traditions.
If someone is insisting that *certain food* is what you have to eat Christmas morning, because that’s their family tradition, DO NOT SUGGEST ALTERNATIVES. They will stab you in the neck.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
And how illogical who can buy what is, especially in regards to stockings and budget:
Observation 4: Your gift budget does not matter.
You can set this budget as high as you want but the perfect gift will always be $10 too expensive. There is no winning. Just give up.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
The cost of ornaments and their significance shocked him:
My roommates encouraged me to buy my own keeper ornament. They told me to find something that made me smile and that was special to me. I bought this one and I am very happy. It is an everything bagel. pic.twitter.com/dbrTZQzK47
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
Observation 6: ORNAMENTS ARE EXPENSIVE.
That cost me $15.99. That’s more than three everything bagels. I am furious. For what it cost, you best believe that I am insisting that it be passed on to my great grandchildren. If they break it I will haunt them.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
Religion is optional! One of the big wins for Christmas, in Hussain’s opinion:
Observation 7: The religious aspect of Christmas is optional.
I really like this one. If I was to suggest having a secular Ramadan to my mother she would have a heart attack. I will however be trying to get my family to do a Secret Santa for Eid. The name’s being workshopped.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
And once again, feelings about food are complicated:
Observation 8: You need a “menu”.
Yeah… This one is where they lost me. Last Christmas my family ordered Popeyes and watched a movie. My roommate has an entire menu with wine pairings and desserts planned.
— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020
“To wrap things up I want to applaud longtime Christmas celebrators,” he concluded. “This is a lot of work and very tiring. I will say I am having a very pleasant time. I am learning that I enjoy Christmas music and gift purchasing. I am also learning that I do not enjoy peppermint.”
People really appreciated Hussain’s objective view of something they were in too deep to see. It inspired some of their own thoughts on the holiday (and their favorite ornaments):
I just bought myself a pickle too! I think it's a German tradition if I remmeber correctly. My favorite keepers are all bird ornaments pic.twitter.com/DX3MzPtirK
— Colie Braun (@Colie_Braun) December 20, 2020
https://twitter.com/werdup3/status/1340523478395412481
Are they the type of Christmas people that wait until Christmas eve or day to put the star on the tree? Because us “star goes on from the get-go” people have sworn eternal war on them until the end of Christiandom.
(Don’t get me started with angel tree topper people!)
— M.M. Schill (@mm_schill) December 20, 2020
When you have older children the weeks before Christmas are an elaborate cat and mouse game. I level up on my spy craft each Christmas
1) Only order gifts on Private Mode on your browser
2) Immediately archive all gift purchases in Amazon
3) Find the perfect hiding spot pic.twitter.com/DAaMqXEiby
— QONDI 💛 🐝 🇺🇸🇿🇦🇿🇼 (@WeAreAllOther) December 20, 2020
Hah that’s pretty comical.
First of all, Christmas is a holiday Christianity stole from Paganism. One thing I always find hard to get religious people to understand is that your beliefs are not unique or original… they’re a mashup of greatest hits from religions past.
— John Score (@JScoreForever) December 20, 2020
This keeps going until everyone ends up with a gift. The best position is being last to choose; you can seize any of the opened ones or take the last unopened one. The resulting resentment is amazing; some people never speak again. Merry Christmas! 2/2
— Bill Stevens (he/him) (@BillSte90015693) December 20, 2020
Years ago, I asked my grandmother if I could have her old glass ornaments because she wasn’t putting a tree up anymore. She sent them to me, and my sister was mad she didn’t think of this. I think of Grandma every time I hang one on the tree. pic.twitter.com/Xl6Cg7ddii
— MyNameHere (@two_dog_mom) December 20, 2020
Old timey tree we found in the National Forest (with a $7.50 permit). We romped in the snow and our tree is the best ever because Adventure! pic.twitter.com/hYkh0nU7dZ
— @megnelsonart (@megnelsonart) December 20, 2020
Tinsel is of the Devil. You’ll be cleaning that junk up until May. Garland is less messy and helps hide open spots in the tree better.
— Jay Templin (@TemplinJay) December 20, 2020
I feel seen. My Christmas card list used to be ~45 people/families, and I’d receive ~25 cards. Now it’s half those numbers. The tradition is dying. I always write a personal message. It used to take days and kinda stressed me out but I still enjoy it.
— Julia Belcher (@JBelcherZ4) December 20, 2020
Sometimes it takes someone from the outside to make you appreciate the inside anew.