Kate Hackett
First dates are always awkward.
I mean, there’s the pre-date digital stalking:
And the whole “resume” dropping thing feels just awful…
And of course, no one is being who they really are, so it always seems like this person could be “the one” when in reality they’re no better than your last significant other…
And then, of course, comes the question of: should we, you know, do it?
I honestly just don’t know about this sex-on-the-first-date logic, but hey, let’s read on and see…
TikTokker, Eve Culling, runs a popular account that touches on a wide range of topics, from abuse to addiction to relationships.
She says in the video:
“OK, I am going to tell you guys why it is crucial, important to have sex on the first date. So, hear me out: I recently was seeing this guy — we were taking things slow. We probably had 10 to 15 dates before actually having sex. Before we had sex, I asked him, ‘So, what do you like during sex, do you have any kinks?’ … He was like, ‘No, I don’t really have any kinks, nothing crazy.'”
She elaborates:
“So we go to have sex, at first it was fine. His dick was fine, he was fine, and then he starts to dirty talk. Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Dirty talk is sexy, dirty talk is hot.’ I agree, completely. But this man did not do your typical — he could have said anything other than what he said. Let me reenact this for you. I am him: ‘Yeah, yeah, you want me to get you pregnant? You want me to put a baby in you so everyone knows you’re mine?!'”
“Now, I don’t kink shame, but what the f-ck. … First time having sex, I ask you about kinks — you didn’t think you should tell me that? You don’t spring that on somebody. … Also, then he was like talk back, talk back, say something. What the f-ck do you want me to say? ‘Yeah, you wanna pay for my abortion? Yeah, you wanna be a single dad?’ … Months of getting to know this guy, getting deep with him, getting personal with him — out the door. Have sex on the first date, you heard it here first…”
Now listen, that all sounds like a surprising sexual encounter, but uh. You absolutely are kink-shaming and you absolutely can’t paint every man out there with this same brush.
It probably would make MORE sense to tell this dude, hey! that WAS a little kinky and it’s not my jam. But wtf do I know, I’m still single. Anyway.
Buzzfeed talked to Eve and she told them that she thinks it’s important to have sex early to determine compatibility.
“Make sure there isn’t anything major that you aren’t okay with. But also, keep in mind that sometimes sex is awkward at first. Sex gets better the closer you and your partner become and with good communication,” she told them.
She also said it’s important that people move at their most comfortable pace.
“There’s no right way. And I actually don’t feel that strongly about having sex early on in dating. I was making a joke and being dramatic,” she said.
All fair points, but please remember, no social media influencer or article should tell you how, when, where, or with whom to, you know. Just do you.
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More like this:
- 15 Men Share First Dates Do’s And Don’ts
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- People Are Debating Whether A 30-Year-Old Can Ethically Date A 19-Year-Old
- 20 People Dish On The Worst Date They Ever Had
- 31 Restaurant Workers Share The Most Awkward First Dates They’ve Witnessed
