Sharing nudes is a modern pastime that most people like to pretend they don’t participate in. Most of us do, or if we don’t, we’re asking to receive them.
Unfortunately, in the often puritanical atmosphere we live in, people whose nudes get leaked are often blamed for sharing them in the first place. Despite the fact that in many states, sharing someone’s nudes without their consent is illegal.
One TikToker has taken it upon themselves to try and explain why sharing nudes without consent is wrong with a very simple sandwich metaphor.
It has over five million views because it explains it so simply that a child could understand.
In the video, teen TikToker Meg Groff plays two characters, one of whom is eating a “sandwich.” The other character asks if they can have a bite and obligingly, Sandwich Girl agrees.
The second character immediately hands it over to someone else without asking if they can keep passing this sandwich around. When the first character gets upset, the second asks, “You were OK with me having a bite, so why can’t they have a bite?”
They reply, “Because I don’t know them and I didn’t give them permission.”
The other person says, “But you handed me the sandwich, so I should be able to do with it what I want.”
“Well, yeah, but when I handed you the sandwich I was under the impression that just you would have a bite, not this total stranger,” says the sandwich queen.
“OK, well if you didn’t want other people to have a bite, then you shouldn’t have handed me the sandwich,” the antagonist answers.
To be honest, I don’t think anyone is sharing nudes without permission because they don’t understand consent. I think they don’t care and don’t respect the people sending nudes and our culture is more interested in shaming people who send nudes than teaching compassion. Which Groff kind of agrees with.
BuzzFeed interviewed Groff, who told them that nudes getting passed around have been a huge issue for people her age—and she’s only 17.
“I’ve noticed that when it happens, we spend more time shaming the victim for sending the images in the first place than we do holding the receiver accountable for sharing something that wasn’t theirs to share. It’s all about consent and privacy,” she said. “To put it plain and simple, I’m tired of peoples’ bodies being used against them.”
Groff came up with the analogy herself, thinking something as simple as possible was best.
“We spend more time teaching people how to not be victims than we spend teaching people why it’s wrong to be the perpetrator,” Groff said.
She added, “My video was shown from the perspective of a woman being the victim of an incident like this simply because I have noticed a pattern of women, in particular, being shamed for expressing themselves as sexual beings. But, the bigger message I’m trying to send is applicable to all genders. Revenge porn or using someone else’s body against them is never OK.”
True! Don’t pass the sandwich, kids. You didn’t make it.