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We Regret To Inform You “Taint Tanning” Is A Thing Thanks To Influencer’s Viral Instagram Post

An Instagram influencer has taken health and wellness blogging to a new low by extolling the benefits of sunning your butthole.  (I feel like my conservative uncle saying this, but the hippies have gone too far.)

According to Metaphysical Meagan, the health benefits of sunbathing your brown eye are numerous. Calling it an ancient Taoist practice, the influencer claimed that cooking your cooter “strengthens the organs,” prevents “the leakage of chi,” and “promotes deeper sleep.” It all sounds very scientific and definitely true.

Bend over and let the light in, you beautiful souls.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Metaphysical Meagan (@metaphysicalmeagan) on

Who knows? Maybe butthole-sunning truly is transformative. Or maybe it’s a highway to Taint Cancer City. Either way it’s important to approach life with an open ass.

The innovative technique shocked even the jaded masses of the internet, who rushed to respond.

Now is it possible that the butthole-sunner is an attention-seeking troll who was hoping for this exact profile-raising reaction? Yes it’s possible.