Aimeé
Breaking up is hard to do, especially when it involves filing paperwork. The people on Reddit who have been through divorce have some stories to tell and the perfect platform to tell them.
Redditor u/hyperyog asked on r/AskReddit, “Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?”
The replies truly show the depth of human depravity when they’re going through a state-mediated breakup. These stories shouldn’t stop you from getting a divorce if you’re considering it…but maybe they should make you reconsider marriage.
1. Right out of the gate
My ex-husband started dating his stepmom who has been in his life since he was 11 years old. His stepmom and him are still together almost 5 years later. His stepmom confessed her love of my ex to his dad a few years ago and they have since divorced. The dad is now dating a 21-year-old. —LiquidSummerHaze
2. How Stella Got Her Groove Back
My ex-wife told me I could leave my stuff in our house while I found somewhere else to stay. I assumed this was a good-will effort to keep things as amicable as possible between us. When I went to get my sh—t she had burned it all. So that was rough. —TKHunsaker
3. Sabotage!
She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver-side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times. —dick_sportwood
4. The talented manipulator
She called my company, talked her way up the chain to the president of the company (still don’t know how she managed that, but she’s smart) and told him I was suicidal and had threatened to “do something drastic” at work…
Later I learned that she thought this would be a roundabout way of getting my address which I didn’t share with her after I moved out because she’s batsh—t crazy. —FeatureNotAFlaw
5. The character actor
Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his “body.” God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman’s voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess.
I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn’t realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumbass try to act it out. —PeachPitiless
6. Sometimes dad has to step in
Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me.
This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her ass to the curb and made her sign the court papers. I haven’t seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness. —Letharos
7. At least it ends well?
Kidnapped my 3 boys from my house when I went on my first post-divorce date. Our loved and trusted babysitter was with them, I left dinner ready and kids bathed and already in their jammies. Left for the movie theater when I got a text from my babysitter that she was sorry for not doing the dishes after dinner. So I texted back “Thats ok, I can do dishes later, but you’ve got a couple hours as well, the movie hasn’t started yet.” She was at home as my ex-husband had shown up, lied and said he was supposed to have the boys that night and that I had said it was ok. I called the police, they did a report, we went to court and he was found in contempt for violating our parenting plan. —ronsinblush
8. This is dumbfounding
Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumbfounded. —mramirez7425
9. No more pleasure for you!
I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me. —shineevee
10. Car versus kid
All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again. —lespaulstrat2
11. My Facebook message is inviting a lot of questions already answered by my Facebook message
Laundry list- but my favourite was his sister sent a Facebook message to all of his contacts the day of our separation (including my family).
Before we announced anything, her message stated everyone should immediately delete me and if I said anything about why we separated I was lying and not to listen.
Basically this created a lot of curious questions and a lot of laughs. —kriso921
12. The Proposal Part II
Called me on my birthday 2 years after divorce offering to make it special and was quite insistent that I take her up on that opportunity. Was not amused to find out my gf (now wife!) had heard the entire conversation on speaker. —NerdyBurner
13. Joining the circus is a new one
She got custody of our three kids, got 70% of my take-home pay for child support requiring me to move into the barracks (I was in the USAF), then she immediately moved out of state without telling me–despite the divorce decree requiring my consent–all but guaranteed I would have no contact with my kids.
That’s not the crazy part.
The crazy part is just a few years later she decided she didn’t want to be a mother anymore, so she signed up with a carnival (I think she had the hots for one of the ride operators) and left the girls on their own–without telling me or the girls beforehand —keenly_disinterested
14. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one
During the whole process of divorcing she insisted she wanted to be single and hadn’t cheated on me. 5 days before we sold our house she posted on Facebook that she was in a relationship with the guy I had asked about her cheating on me with. A year later they were engaged, a year after the engagement they are married. —RedditAtWork2021
15. King of petty
Not me, but my grandparents got divorced when my mom was about 17. In their legal battle, they worked out that they would each get 50/50 of the sale of specific shared assets. There was an old junky car and a fairly new RV. My grandpa sold the RV and the car for $1 each. He handed my grandma a buck in court. —corth_
16. Celebrating a divorce anniversary?
My ex-husband messages/calls me every November. Our divorce was finalized November 2015. Last time I decided not to answer because I’m in a committed relationship. But every year, like clockwork. Our divorce was messy to say the least and after our final court hearing we stood outside for like an hour talking about his girlfriend problems. I guess he just needed a friend but I don’t anymore. At least, I don’t need him as a friend. —Splenda212
17. The long con
My coworker finally got divorced after 2 years of trying to work it out with her hubby. She had a disabled child that her ex refused to help with and pay child support. She decided to sell her engagement ring, diamond wedding band and several pieces of jewelry her ex gave her over the year and that she was able to keep after the divorce. EVERY GEM WAS FAKE. Her jeweler told her that gems has been recently swapped out for fakes. So the two years she was working it out with her ex, he was replacing all her jewelry with fakes. —Borgqueen-
18. At least she’s consistent
She got married 7 more times! I was husband #1 when we were 18yo, divorced by 20yo, and now at 44 she is getting her 8th divorce.. —RidgeRoad
19. That’s a lot of lost deposits
Called me the night before his wedding to his second wife and asked me if it was really over. He said “this was our last chance to be together. Are you sure it’s over?” The night before he got remarried. Let that just marinate a little. I guess he didn’t think me asking for the divorce, paying for it, and filing the paperwork wasn’t the clue it was over. —BMT_Nurse
20. An electric connection
I had forgotten to move the electricity bill over in his name (I moved out). He tried to make me pay for it, right until I threatened him with paying the bill and asking the power company to shut off the power. It would have cost him three times more to get it turned on again. Idiot. —Miridana
21. The actual King of Petty
My divorce was pretty amicable… but a previous boyfriend took one of each pair of my patterned socks so I had no matching pairs. —JWtheMermaid
Lead image: Unsplash
