Have you been wondering why your Twitter feed is flooded with people pointing out the vast differences between men and women?
You aren’t alone. A new meme, referred to mostly as “Every Woman I Know,” seeks to demonstrate that women—due largely to society’s expectations and standards—are far superior to men.
And before the Not-All-Men/This-Is-Misandry crowd comes swarming from their unprovoked depths: It’s JUST A JOKE! (Mostly.)
Writer Dana Schwartz seems to have kicked the meme off by tweeting about how “every woman” in her life finds time for multiple jobs, physical and mental self-care, and remembering loved ones’ birthdays, whereas their boyfriends “once almost made a dinner reservation but turns out the place was closed.”
EVERY WOMAN IN MY LIFE: juggling 3 jobs, does yoga, cooks, goes to therapy, remembers everyone’s birthday
THEIR BOYFRIENDS: once almost made a dinner reservation but turns out the place was closed
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 17, 2019
From there, the joke format quickly took off as hundreds of men and women began tweeting about “every woman I know” followed by “every man I know,” and adding in their own dunks. The takeaway? Women work really really hard. Men use 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash.
1.
every woman I know: works out, meditates, starting a business, in therapy, 12 step skincare routine, mastered contouring and winged eyeliner, reading self-help books.
every guy I know: used to use a 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash, but uses separate body wash now.
— How To Be Alone (by me Lane Moore) is out now (@hellolanemoore) May 2, 2019
2.
every woman i know: basis for a successful series of children’s books, meticulous planner with brilliant attention to detail, treasure hunt mastermind, currently camping in the ozarks
every man i know: pic.twitter.com/ZDVk6eZLx7
— swizz keats (@iluvbutts247) May 2, 2019
3.
every woman I know:
her bf: pic.twitter.com/7g6eq043qM
— daniel elkind (1984–?) (@DoubleEBooks) May 2, 2019
4.
every woman i know: is “gallant” from highlights for children magazine
every man i know: is “goofus” from highlights for children magazine
— law dog, esq. (@ggooooddddoogg) May 2, 2019
5.
Every woman I know: Nike of Samothrace
Every man I know: Olmec Baby pic.twitter.com/UcH6mIIen1
— Seymour Martin Dipset (@butleriano) May 3, 2019
6.
every woman I know: spends $100s on makeup, trying to get short stories about her ex published in the new yorker
every guy I know: only listens to playboi carti, gets too high at parties and says “aight bro I’m bout to head out,” trying to be a fortnite streamer
— rob (@cheefs13) May 2, 2019
7.
Every woman I know: PhDs in literary theory, sociology. zoology, and at least one hard science
Every man I know: Dead from an accident trying to open his refrigerator to get at a Bud Light Lime he won in a revenge-porn website contest
— Jesse Singal (@jessesingal) May 3, 2019
8.
every woman i know: i’m having 20 periods out of many miraculous holes. i’m having unreasonably emotional reactions to my television stories
every man i know: were i witness to a crime, i would simply intervene and overpower the perpetrator
— illy bocean (@IllyBocean) May 4, 2019
9.
Every woman I know: AOC
EVery man I know: AOC’s boyfriend
— ᑎᕮᑕK ᗷᖇᘓᗩᗪ (@neckbread) May 4, 2019
10. Of course, it didn’t take long for people to put their own sardonic and hilarious twist on the meme.
every woman I know: does yoga, flawless skin, multiple PhDs, churns her own butter, flies covert missions to airdrop chocolate and vaccines to orphans in the Sudan
every man I know: is three dogs in a trench coat
— Kat Rosenfield (@katrosenfield) May 2, 2019
11.
every woman i know: terrifying
every man i know: also terrifying i have anxiety
— dirt prince (@pant_leg) May 2, 2019
12.
every woman i know:
every man i know:
they are all dead. i live in a wind-swept wasteland. i have been forgotten by death and left to wander after the end of time
— no one you follow (@NerbieDansers) May 2, 2019
13.
every woman i know: posting tweets about every woman they know and every man they know that simplify the complexities of human relationships and flatten the world into binary gender categories
every man i know: jk i don’t know any men and i refuse to meet one
— mike gravel reply guy (@hellenkeniford) May 2, 2019
14.
Every woman I know: works 3 jobs, volunteers, cooks healthy and delicious meals, has all kinds of matching towels and bedsheets, reads books
Every guy I know: flies buzzing around their mouth and eyes as their dismembered corpse molders in a bathtub
— Will🦕Menaker (@willmenaker) May 3, 2019
15.
every woman i know: 20 blunts a day, 2 hour long skincare routine, has done extensive research on every serial killer, 5 boyfriends, perfect eyebrows
every man i know: accidentally misspelled something in the group chat and will never live it down
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) May 3, 2019
16.
every woman I know: calling a cab
every man I know: having a smoke— Kyle Helmick (@HelmickeyMouse) May 3, 2019
17.
every woman i know: birth control, ho chi minh, richard nixon back again, moonshot, woodstock, watergate, punk rock, begin, reagan, palestine, terror on the airline, ayatollah in iran, russians in afghanistan
every man i know: didn’t start the fire
— bobo the sleuth (@woodmasterfresh) May 3, 2019
18.
every woman i know: a mass of writhing tentacles with inhuman like features indescribable with words, its emotions and motivations incomprehensible to the human mind, a fountain of unknowable knowledge
every man i know: a mass of writhing tentacles with inhuman like features in
— Designated Cancellation Survivor (@Saintafie) May 2, 2019
19.
Every woman I know: preparing for trouble, protecting the world from devastation, denouncing the evils of truth and love
Every man I know: making it double, uniting all people within our nation, extending their reach to the stars above
— With Ilhan Stander (@BrianoMobile) May 2, 2019
Lane Moore (comedian and author, #1 on this list) followed up in a subsequent tweet to explain that the point of her tweet is not that all men are gross and all women are queens—it’s to point out that “the world asks women to do all that, despite us not having $/time/energy for it!”
“Point is: society asks women to do everything and asks men to do nothing.”
I’m seeing a lot of replies saying “I don’t do all that” & good for you, you don’t have to!! But the point of this tweet is the world asks women to do all that, despite us not having $/time/energy for it! Point is: society asks women to do everything and asks men to do nothing🌻
— How To Be Alone (by me Lane Moore) is out now (@hellolanemoore) May 2, 2019
h/t Twitter