Another week, another slate of funny tweets, handpicked right here in the US of A.
That’s right folks, we’re not shipping our tweet finding jobs to Mexico.
Do us, yourselves, and your country a favor and support American Tweet business by enjoying the fruits of our labor.
1.
spinach getting ready to expire on my way home from the grocery store https://t.co/Z3UkerYmC4
— ziwe (@ziwe) May 1, 2019
2.
Wherever all my Tupperware lids are, I truly hope that they are happy
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) May 1, 2019
3.
yes it does lmao https://t.co/1T0jEWDsmI
— cayleigh (@angeryvenus) May 1, 2019
4.
— . (@ateezoficiaI) May 1, 2019
5.
which one of my flatmates is cooking a single chicken nugget … i cba pic.twitter.com/O1rxacxA2o
— holly (@holly_warcup) May 1, 2019
6.
I need to ask this dog where they got their cute crop top from pic.twitter.com/GnbCvfi5uB
— ferret gal (@_claudiajay) May 1, 2019
7.
Your stripper name is your mother’s first name and your mother’s last name
— Yassir Lester (@Yassir_Lester) December 16, 2018
8.
Y’all’s fish could never pic.twitter.com/EMbOkd8sJ0
— Cat (@hit_the_quant) May 1, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/issamariumali/status/1123051903653486592
10.
https://twitter.com/izzysmh_/status/1122699633854156803
11.
https://twitter.com/_dlew32/status/1122946709628313601
12.
Yo why tf my sister paint this on the wall 😂 pic.twitter.com/iqVBxW3mNB
— Leo (@leomacxx96) April 30, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/brekboi/status/1123977901999706112
14.
HOW has this just happened?!?!??!!? pic.twitter.com/lSJJqQmNik
— Cez👁 (@HardyCerys) April 30, 2019
15.
S/o to my 11 year old brother for grabbing my wax pen when i forgot it in the car 😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/1cuVRJe6Ok
— lalita🌻 (@lalaa_408) May 3, 2019