Emily
11.
https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/285840571044601856
12.
Him: Mommy, what IS a postcard?
Me: A prehistoric text message.
Him: Did they send them on beepers?
*blink*
Me: No. Just… no.— Eva Wilson/SocaMom® (@SocaMomDC) February 19, 2015
13.
Googling Literally Everything: A New Mom's Story
— Lori Fradkin (@LoriFradkin) December 11, 2015
14.
99% of eating at a restaurant with kids is preventing them from spilling their drinks.
— Heather B. Hamilton (@dooce) August 30, 2015
15.
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2013
16.
my 10yr old is doing laundry & I'm truly proud of her but also on the verge of a panic attack because she's folding my shirts the wrong way
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) January 2, 2017
17.
https://twitter.com/ashleyaustrew/status/724700758742986752
18.
wife: Let's fool around after the kids go to bed
narrator: But they never did fool around— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 2, 2017
19.
Parents: "If only there were a manual for this."
Also parents: "How dare you tell me how to raise my kids, you piece of shit."
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) January 1, 2017
20.
My 4 year old spilled water on his bathing suit, so he can't go in the pool until he changes and this is why vodka is a thing.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 16, 2016
21.
2017 Resolution: spend more quality time with my son
*son begins describing his 500 new Pokémon cards*
Well, there's always next year
— John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) January 4, 2017
