It’s really hard when one partner is unemployed — but even harder if they aren’t making any moves to find work and instead stay at home all day literally playing in the pool with friends.
On Reddit, one mother of two who has been solely providing for the family for months has to deal with her husband partying all day and actually preventing his children — who should be using the pool — from using the pool so his buddies can hang out and goof off. Fed up, the OP told her husband’s friends to get out. Now, the husband has left the house and not returned.
“I’m a working [mom] (sole income earner for the time being) of 2. My husband has been struggling to find a job for 16 months (Idk what’s up with that) and so I’ve been solely paying for everything. As you know it’s summer time, and the kids want to go to the beach every weekend but I’m busy working often times and my husband won’t bother take them unless he uses my car which is a no from me because I need it for work,” the OP writes.
“Anyway so I put money towards renovating (and upgrading) our old pool so the kids could use it. Thing is once the pool was ready my husband started inviting his friends to come over and use it for hours. They’d basically taken over preventing the kids from enjoying it. They complained about being denied the pool several times which caused them to get upset.”
“So what I did was talk to my husband about it and telling him to limit his friends usage of the pool. He flipped out at me saying it’s his house/water too and I can’t control what he does/who he brings. I got mad and in return told him that tomorrow the kids get the pool or else I will ban his friends from it completely. He side eyed me and said ‘FINE! THEY CAN HAVE THE DAMN POOL TOMORROW!’
“Well next day, my daughter calls me crying saying dad brought his friends over and refused to let her and her brother play in the pool. I was L.I.V.I.D I literally left work right then and went home. I saw him and his friends in the pool messing around I just screamed my head off on them telling them to get out. My husband tried to get involved but I told him off and had all of his friends leave. He blew up at me for acting like a lunatic and said that I was being controlling and shameless. I said I already told him to let the kids play in the pool yet he ignored my request. He yelled at me saying just because I paid to fix the pool doesn’t mean I own it. He then went back inside and started calling his friends one by one to apologize ‘on my behalf’ since he said I was too shameless to do it myself. He then left the house and hasn’t been back yet.”
What do Redditors think?
“Yeah I’d be looking at divorce lawyers over this. 16 months unemployed, trashing the home with his buddies, being an a**hole to children, and turning it all into a blow-out power struggle with his wife when she objects?? What, if anything, does this man bring to a marriage that would make this relationship worth saving?” asked
“NTA. It would be one thing if he enjoyed the pool with his pals now and again; but your husband has no job and, if he’s loafing about in the pool this much that the kids can’t use it, he’s definitely an AH with a sniff of deadbeat about him. He’s being an awful dad too by hogging the family pool (which sounds like he barely contributed anything towards) so the kids are literally crying for not being able to use. What a total AH your spouse is. Tell him to get a damn job ASAP,” said
“He’s also being an awful dad by refusing to spend any quality time with his kids. Why are the kids not allowed to swim when his friends are? Why won’t he take the kids out to do anything? So he’s not working, and he’s not taking care of the kids. Does he at least do all the housework? Something tells me that OP does 100% of the childcare and 100% of the chores on top of paying 100% of the bills. OP if you’re not going to kick him out for how awful he treats you then you should at least kick him out for the sake of your kids. You really want them to grow up thinking that this is how relationships are supposed to be? You’re being a doormat to his self-involved behaviors and what is worse your kids are forced in to the position of being his doormats too,” explained
“NTA. Once your husband starts paying towards the house, he can have his play time with his friends. Honestly, he sounds like the AH here and I feel sorry for your kids,” said
“Your husband is living his best frat boy summer. He doesn’t have to work, mom (you) pays for everything, and he can have his friends over to party in the pool every day. He is supposed to be watching his annoying younger siblings, but he just tells them to stay out of his hair and go play video games or watch Netflix or something. NTA, but you have bigger problems than the pool,” noted
Featured Image: Pexels