Woman Arrested For Peeing—Yes, Peeing—On Potatoes At A Pennsylvania Walmart

In the latest episode of WHAT THE F—K: FOOD EDITION a woman has been caught peeing on potatoes in a West Mifflin, Pennsylvania Walmart. 

The woman, identified as Grace Brown, was caught on store surveillance. “Honestly, I think she thought it was a toilet,” Brown’s attorney said. “She pulls down her pants, squats, sits there, does her thing, pulls up her pants and leaves.”

“This type of obscene conduct is outrageous and we immediately disposed of the affected products and sanitized the area to ensure its cleanliness and safety for our customers,” Walmart said in a statement.

Brown turned herself in and has been charged with “open lewdness, public drunkenness, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.” 

The potato peeing is the latest in this summer’s distressing trend of humans spreading bodily fluids on items intended for consumption. The first — and by far most enraging — is the Blue Bell ice cream licker. A 17-year-old girl enlisted her boyfriend to film her opening and licking a container of ice cream at a Lufkin, Texas Walmart. She then puts the ice cream back on the shelf. The video went viral — probably like the ice cream. 

“We do not intend to pursue charges against her as an ‘adult’ and therefore what happens from here is at the discretion of the juvenile justice system,” Lufkin police posted on Facebook. 

Then, in a copycat incident, a 36-year-old man from Louisiana, also tampered with a carton of Blue Bell ice cream and filmed the event. He was charged with unlawful posting of criminal activity for notoriety and publicity and tampering with property. 

And there was the mouthwash guzzler, although apparently she had the receipts of purchase and just wanted us all to think she returned the gargled mouthwash to the shelf. STILL — IT’S NOT FUNNY. 

It does not appear the potato peer was doing it for social media notoriety, like in the cases of the mouthwash drinker — and for that, I am grateful. Getting drunk and peeing on potatoes is awful, but there is a special place in hell for people who purposely contaminate public products.

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.