Max
Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago. Either way, these were 15 of the funniest tweets we saw this week.
[pet store]
EMPLOYEE: The corgi puppies aren’t selling!BOSS: [steepling fingers] Bring me…the tiny sweaters
EMPLOYEE: My god
— batkaren (@batkaren) August 16, 2016
Little Red Riding Hood reboot spoiler alert. pic.twitter.com/rzWdeojsP4
— a girl is no one (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 16, 2016
so Ryan Lechte gets robbed at the Olympics & everyone talks about it, but when Gangnam Style got robbed at the Grammys y’all were silent?
— adam crouch (@TheHoshuah) August 16, 2016
I can’t decide if I want to know THE FULL TRUTH about Ryan Lochte right now or just have it doled out to me in episodes like a morphine drip
— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) August 17, 2016
BREAKING: Usain Bolt Finishes Dead Last in the Backward Running Event pic.twitter.com/MyqIrtyGV4
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) August 15, 2016
When I want to buy something, first, I read a review, then another review, then eight more reviews, and then, just to be safe, I buy nothing
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) August 14, 2016
I made fun of a guy dressed as a wizard on the subway and now look at me pic.twitter.com/apev2H7G9d
— J Crowley (@jdcrowley) August 16, 2016
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: the pilot turned on the musical chairs sign
WIFE: not again
ME: *waltzing with flight attendant* you’re still out, Susan— Ally Gator (@notacroc) August 12, 2016
You don’t need to comment on every item you scan, grocery store cashier, it’s not Facebook.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 17, 2016
Judith A. probably eats human babies and screams at butterflies pic.twitter.com/v6XyuOwZXu
— Cynthia (@Super_Cynthia) August 11, 2016
I love that euphoric feeling you get after a really good workout so that’s why I try to set aside at least an hour each day to do drugs.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) August 16, 2016
AIDE: Sir you’re gonna win!
TRUMP: Can I ruin this somehow?
A: Sir-
T: JOE BIDEN IS SADDAM HUSSEIN
A: Um
T: A TACO IS A SANDWICH
A: *vomits*— (((Michael))) (@Home_Halfway) August 11, 2016
The best part of Kevin Hart’s wedding pic is him standing 10 feet in the foreground to be as tall as his wife. pic.twitter.com/EPAp3dtmms
— Travon Free (@Travon) August 14, 2016
me: why do i feel terrible
brain: coffee is not a food group
brain: eat a vegetable
brain: sleep
me: guess we’ll never know
brain: oh my god— demented egg basket (@aplethoras) August 14, 2016
What happened here pic.twitter.com/qc0aIA63eD
— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) August 14, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s funniest tweets.
