While we already do a pretty damn good job with a coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Piss Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
I’m reading the Big Short right now and every time I open the book this is all I can think about pic.twitter.com/lxYdi2agje
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) July 25, 2019
my therapist: I don’t have an opening until next week
me: I’d like to dye my hair blue
my therapist: see you in five
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 24, 2019
If you watch a movie with me I WILL loudly announce if I see anyone wearing heels at a high school— a thing which has never happened.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 24, 2019
Sex work is real work and that's the only thing stopping me from doing it
— Anya Volz (@AnyaVolz) July 21, 2019
I’m sorry to anyone who is friends with me pic.twitter.com/07873fF2oo
— roxana melissa (@bawdyrox) July 23, 2019
Boomer: Don’t quit your day job!
Millennial: Which one?
— Emily Galati (@emilygalati) July 25, 2019
— kate (@kaiteasley) July 24, 2019
tired of seeing everyone’s boyfriend taking them on paint and picnic dates so my dog took me on one instead pic.twitter.com/Rye7jzsAtr
— grace (@vladyhh) July 24, 2019
Boomers: I heard she went to *looks around nervously* *whispers* ᵀʰᵉʳᵃᵖʸ
Millennials/Gen Z: LMAOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT MY THERAPIST TOLD ME TODAY
— Jordan Lancaster (@jordylancaster) July 25, 2019
why does this dog look like richard gere pic.twitter.com/XLylaBofPQ
— nevona (@nevona) July 24, 2019
"faceapp has your photo now and can use it against you!" – white people who spit in a tube and sent it to a strange factory to learn they are in fact from europe
— Paige Skinner (@paginaskinner) July 20, 2019
I pour my seltzer from the can into a glass at work like I'm the fucking Queen of England.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 23, 2019