Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.
Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week.
1.
https://twitter.com/chrispaget1/status/1317878889297969164
2.
What she sees vs what I see pic.twitter.com/9qML6QknW9
— Abel (@deepfriedboi) November 3, 2019
3.
WOLF: I can't do this
FEMALE WOLF: Just focus on me, babe.
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: The male penetrates the female
WOLF: He's so creepy
— Brian Doyle (@WritePlay) April 14, 2016
4.
5.
6.
Lord give me the commitment of a guy they forced into a polar bear costume going full method during an escape drill at a zoo pic.twitter.com/wPSBZ6hwpb
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 27, 2019
7.
8.
3 am thoughts pic.twitter.com/apqXUw2Pcg
— Fairy Boy (@FAIRYBOYMUSIC) October 19, 2020
9.
10.
(to my date after each preview at a movie) the actual film will be much longer than that
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 2, 2016
11.
As the world gets dumber, I can't help but think Pizza Hut should give a personal pan pizza to every adult who reads 12 books over the summer.
— SCOTTY (@MarylandMudflap) July 10, 2019
12.
Congratulations on becoming a contestant on the Price is Right. Please, put on this clothing from 1979 and follow me.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) May 2, 2016
13.
me chasing after the ice cream truck pic.twitter.com/uFh6F3ad7x
— batkaren (@batkaren) May 1, 2016
14.
15.
tired of these mfs pic.twitter.com/NX6G3I2TMi
— Repollo (@DickFooDog) July 16, 2019
16.
this is it. this is peak comedy. nothing will ever be funnier than this https://t.co/qNCwtrDtYm
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) June 23, 2019
17.
I'm sorry the what now pic.twitter.com/OpxK1FKiZY
— santanie (@goodhairperson) July 16, 2019
18.
https://twitter.com/miracleunique_/status/1317192536293662720
19.
When your anxiety is at a 12 but you’re just going about your workday like https://t.co/HN0aMx6RGx
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) July 16, 2019
20.
God: you’re my son
Jesus: do I have super powers 😀
God: you can turn water to wine, walk on water, uh bread
Jesus: :/
God: …fish
Jesus: so who’s my enemy
God: Satan. he has shapeshifting, fire, rock n roll, charm
Jesus: wow that’s cool 🙁
God: oh he’s super duper cool
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) June 13, 2019
21.
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?
— Alice Wetterlund (@alicewetterlund) February 25, 2019
22.
when u got a promotion at work but the chardonnay is subpar & your marriage is slowly crumbling pic.twitter.com/Rwo8cuwURt
— lil jon lovitz (not seasonal) (@liljonlovitz) April 28, 2016
23.
24.
https://twitter.com/emmachamberlain/status/1100228364000849920
25.
HER: do u have a condom
ME: u bet [whistles]
[an eagle flies thru the window & drops off a cat]
H: holy shit
M: ya sometimes he brings cats— enough with the monolith (@AbrasiveGhost) May 3, 2016
26.
27.
FIRST PERSON TO GET A CAT: haha this thing is an asshole I’m gonna keep it
— tater tot bros (@thetits) May 3, 2016
28.
29.
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
30.
31.
wheres my fuckin son pic.twitter.com/QM2nh5AYKs
— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 9, 2019
32.
33.
I like it when they put 'the end' after a movie, so that you know not to stay sat in your seat for the rest of your life.
— a skeleton head (@Death_Buddy) May 2, 2016
34.
seems a little extreme pic.twitter.com/Boliaj3yXR
— slumdogecoin millionaire (@sophsa) October 18, 2020
35.
“Yea, when my mom fell down the stairs and broke her hip, we just shot her.” pic.twitter.com/7t197jKoD0
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) April 16, 2018