When Jennifer Garner said “bless his heart” of ex-husband Ben Affleck’s extravagantly gaudy back tattoo of a phoenix, we all understood she was healed and ready to unleash the sass. While these Twitter users might not have such a large target to focus on, they too crafted hysterical, dismissive ex jokes to let their former lovers know they are out of f***s to give and having fun.
Here are some of our favorite, hilariously scorching ex jokes people have made on Twitter.
1.
Me: well you cheated on me
My ex (crying): but I haven’t had sex with anyone since we broke up
— Alyssa Schoener (@alyssa_schoener) October 20, 2019
2.
Watch out for your ex this midwestern wind is blowing trash everywhere
— Midwest vs Everybody (@midwestern_ope) December 3, 2019
3.
Ran into my ex at big lots 🧙♀️ pic.twitter.com/W3CB0Dqfvs
— ⚡️JROGERS⚡️ (@JROGERS1550) August 24, 2019
4.
remembering when I said to my ex “it’s not fair to compare yourself to bojack horseman, he’s shown personal growth”
— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) October 29, 2019
5.
it’s funny how we all sleep differently. i sleep on my side my roommate sleeps on her back and my ex sleeps with everybody…. LMFAOO
— ashley (@loneIymood) October 22, 2019
6.
Whoever is sleeping with my ex needs to do better because he’s still texting me lol
— Brooklyn (@Brrooklynjade) August 29, 2019
7.
This is by an ex who dumped me pic.twitter.com/jew6OLE3Qx
— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) November 3, 2017
8.
When you see Mariah Carey is charging her ex an inconvenience fee for $50 mil and you start thinking of how inconvenient all your ex’s were. pic.twitter.com/fch2LAvvhz
— mother of dragons 🐉 (@_xoxomari_) October 29, 2016
9.
My exes are at their weekly meeting all like “ok are we still all liking her pics? What about texting her ‘hey’ at 3am?” (they all nod)
— Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) July 9, 2014
10.
This is still the most accurate “girls before and after a breakup” pic pic.twitter.com/eBgYb52tE1
— Maya (@Mayaa_harperr) November 16, 2015