Twitter has plenty of hilarious female comedians and each and every week we bring you the cream of the crop from those women. Now sit back and enjoy scrolling through the funniest tweets from women this week. You’ve earned a laugh.
1.
I’m only gonna say this once but Jake Gyllenhaal looks so much like the lion from Madagascar pic.twitter.com/AGhZKAIFPD
— Luc (@ellkay_) July 4, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1146226009777135617
3.
give us what we want pic.twitter.com/iyiVKij4cB
— Rachel Borat Kaly (@rachel_kaly) July 4, 2019
4.
https://twitter.com/wtfjulz/status/1145915497709314048
5.
https://twitter.com/icywiifey/status/1145350450545217537
6.
toilet ghosted = when the automatic flush goes off when you're using the toilet (multiple times)
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) July 3, 2019
7.
July 4th is the met gala for Old Navy families
— murphy. (@smurphnoff) July 4, 2019
8.
I don’t care who they cast as Ariel in the new Little Mermaid as long as the priest officiating the wedding still has a boner
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) July 4, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/Aamirah_salie/status/1146002370377265154
10.
I’ll never understand why flights are allowed to change price all the time. was europe closer last week? are you bidding for jet fuel on ebay? fuck you
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) July 2, 2019
11.
them: you’ll sleep when you’re dead
me when I’m dead: ahhhh my mind keeps racing does anyone have melatonin
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 2, 2019
12.
https://twitter.com/griffski/status/1145681688418299904
13.
https://twitter.com/astonoha/status/1145869887400603648
14.
https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/1172298108463484928
15.
https://twitter.com/KFreehams/status/1146547018673872896
16.
LA earthquake was downgraded to a 6.4 but let's be honest, it would probably be a 10 anywhere else
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) July 4, 2019
17.
Please don’t mention Flossie’s paw. She’s really self conscious about it. pic.twitter.com/NsMqliGbGt
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) July 1, 2019
18.
https://twitter.com/carlyken/status/1147175142272970753
19.
sultry whisper voice: “Get help right away if you experience swelling in the face, mouth or tongue.”
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 5, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/marnieshure/status/1147225825839853568
21.
Sorry I missed your bbq, I was busy trying to get the throw blanket on my bed to look juuuuuuust casually tossed on there enough.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 3, 2019
22.
My dog hunts flies the same way middle aged men play the guitar — she’s not great at it but it’s something to do and something she enjoys
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) July 1, 2019