Every week we dig deep into the annals (hehe, I said “annals”) of Twitter to bring you the best 15 funny Tweets making the rounds.
Here’s what made us laugh this week.
DISCLAIMER: Some or all of these funny tweets may have been curated while we were drunk, so feel free to let us know which suck in the comments.
DOUBLE DISCLAIMER: Please don’t say mean things in the comments. We’re fragile. And, as mentioned, probably drunk.
Him: Did you adopt your dog?
Me: No, he's my biological dog.
— Goats? (@Gooooats) June 19, 2019
[carefully puts turds in pocket] pic.twitter.com/MsZHrDnOmf
— Urple Incogzero (@NotUrplePingo) June 18, 2019
i never in my life thought i’d see michelle obama hit harry styles in the dick with a dodgeball but hey god works in mysterious ways pic.twitter.com/jWff5Afz6m
— cin (@alexcaIverts) June 18, 2019
me: do you have a favorite book
me: that’s too many
— elvish presley (@_elvishpresley_) June 19, 2019
Me explaining to ⠀ ⠀ ⠀My cat
my cat that I ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀pretending
won’t tell anyone ⠀⠀ ⠀he cant speak
if he can speak pic.twitter.com/X7PHTuEXZ9
— lil PP (@PabloPiqasso) June 17, 2019
Your body is a temple? Hell no
Your body is filled with blood, brains, eyeballs and a skeleton.
Your body is a haunted house bro
— Shayne Topp (@supershayne) June 3, 2019
my toddler whenever I'm trying to have a conversation with my wife pic.twitter.com/9PcAJlqf2V
— thrills! chills! shrills!!! (@theshrillest) June 18, 2019
Wowww just had to unfollow OJ. He’s funny on twitter but give him a google and you will NOT like him anymore
— Caleb Synan (@calebsynan) June 17, 2019
My divorced parents had this text exchange on Father’s Day and I’m horrified pic.twitter.com/aH0W0N65tu
— Graham (@GrahamHill24) June 19, 2019
Pouring a shot of liquor in my belly button and duct taping over it to bring it to a party
— Mike F (@mikefossey) May 30, 2019