Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.
Either way, please enjoy this collection of the 15 funniest tweets we saw this week.
me: *crying* I think I have lost my perception of time
doctor: when did it start?
me: [reaching for tissue] 6000 years ago
— yabkat (@ohen39) October 10, 2017
*arrives in hell*
*Hey Ya starts playing*
haha nice love this song
*Hey Ya starts playing*
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) January 7, 2016
[the addams family]
morticia: you’re late.
gomez: I can explain.
morticia: talk to the hand.
gomez: hey, thing.
— burt “angel killa” (@iamburtjarvis) October 9, 2017
Normal adult questions:
– who, what, when, where, why, how
Normal 3 year old questions:
— Bison (@McGrumpenstein) October 2, 2017
wife [on Facebook] Spent the day with the kids. We had so much fun!
wife [to me] Do you know what those little shits did to me today?
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 7, 2017
The truth is I found him a long time ago, I’m just enjoying the silence. pic.twitter.com/8j28YPZ5Fp
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 7, 2017
why the fuck would u wanna go big when u can go home
— common sad girl (@sadgirlkms) October 3, 2017
I’ve been building my son’s trust for two yrs with high-fives. Today I’m going to hit him with a “too slow”. Welcome to the real world, son.
— Trevor Williams (@MeLlamoTrevor) October 6, 2017
Does anyone want a mirror that’s not haunted (anymore)
— Cynthia (@Super_Cynthia) May 29, 2016
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Cover Squirrel pic.twitter.com/kNMmGWsjAJ
— Frisky Zisky (@OrangeFact) October 11, 2017
Remember when they had a granola bar called Kudos like congratulations we tricked your parents into giving you a candy bar for lunch.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) June 14, 2016
ME: everybody sit down they’re about to feed the snakes
MANAGER: that rule applies to you only
— Wholly dEmonic (@Chumpstring) October 4, 2017
GOD: i’m going to tell you the name by which you may call me throughout all generations
MOSES: no way
MOSES: ok so what is it
— The Pun-Kinwesterner (@panmidwest) February 24, 2017
Me: sir we’ve received word from the captors
Me: it’s just one word: “busimess”
Negotiator (grimly): they mean business
— Francis With Wolves (@ImSoFrancis) February 9, 2017
DOG: [shits out the 8 of clubs an hour later] Is this your card? pic.twitter.com/G5eIoB1vc9
— Scary Terry F (@daemonic3) October 5, 2017
If you need even more, you can check out all of the very funny tweets from last week.