Ruin My Week
One of the traditional vows of marriage is to take someone “in sickness and in health.” It’s also the vow that gets most sorely tested in a global pandemic like the one the world is currently experiencing at the hands of coronavirus/COVID-19. It also makes you think more and more about the “till death do us part” vow when you contemplate caving your spouse’s skull in with a tea kettle after they’ve done that one annoying thing they do for the 1,000th time on Day 20 of your shared quarantine.
As anyone who’s married or in a serious relationship knows, while couplehood has plenty of benefits, it’s not all peaches and cream and you inevitably get on each other’s nerves. In a normal world you can ease this tension by, you know, GOING OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE, but in our new world of social-distancing this is suddenly no longer possible and people are having to confront the issues in their relationship head-on.
Here are a selection of tweets from married couples doing their best to keep it together during the pandemic.
1.
If my husband doesn’t stop singing “M-m-m-myyyyy Corona” he is going to have bigger problems on his hands than a worldwide pandemic.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 15, 2020
2.
Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:Me: *looks at phone*
Husband: What are you up to?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 15, 2020
3.
Me: *eating chips in bed*
Husband: I thought you said no eating in the bed.
Me: We live in a different world now.
Husband: So, I can-
Me: *interrupts* No.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) March 17, 2020
4.
Quarantine Day 2, Hour 689- I’ve become very aware of my husband’s toenails and I’d like to be voted off the island now.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 17, 2020
5.
My wife just sneezed.
Does the whole “in sickness and in health” thing still apply in a pandemic situation?
Just wondering.
— Jack’s Dad (@DaddingAround) March 15, 2020
6.
Me: There’s a run on toilet paper.
Wife: We’ll be fine.
Me: Did you stock up?
Wife: We have your books.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 12, 2020
7.
Me interacting with my husband when peak quarantine madness sets in pic.twitter.com/UCa780KfOz
— Gwdihŵ 🦉 (@youwouldknow) March 14, 2020
8.
Trying to send my wife a text but can’t find an emoji of an eggplant wearing a facemask
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 17, 2020
9.
Lots of folks panic-buying soap cause of coronavirus
Meanwhile my wife has been stocking up on Bath and Body Works soap for the past 10 years so we’re all set
— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) March 11, 2020
10.
Everything is a risk. Getting out of bed every day is a risk. Being vulnerable is a risk. Loving someone so hard you feel like you’ll burst is a risk. Letting yourself feel anything is a risk…
Husband: We are not booking a cheap cruise ok please fucking stop.
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) March 10, 2020
