Max
Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some of the top tweets from long ago.
Either way, please enjoy this collection of the 15 funniest tweets we saw this week.
Me: did I remember to take my pills?
Also me: of course you did.
Also, me: hey what are you guys talking about?
— TyrannosaurU.S. Rex (@89WebbyLee) August 28, 2017
These GPA looking gas prices gotta go. Gas $3.89. Suma Cum Laude gas. I need academic probation gas.
— Queen Sha ❤ (@Capt_Thickness) September 5, 2017
(to the tune of We Will Rock You)
I feed my dog dog food
— Chris Stephens (@ChrisStephensMD) September 6, 2017
first day of school! pic.twitter.com/2bXr8mWPgg
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) September 6, 2017
yeah so it’s the painting with the dogs playing poker but I’m there with them! laughing, smoking, talking shit about cats
tattoo artist: no
— andrew chamings (@AndrewChamings) August 23, 2017
Get married and have kids so that you can be woken up at 4:56 am on a Saturday by someone asking what the opposite of “J” is.
— Ash (@adult_mom) March 4, 2017
BACK TO SCHOOL
OR IF YOU ARE AN ADULT
THE WHEEL CONTINUES RELENTLESSLY SPINNING LARGELY WITHOUT CHANGE
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) September 5, 2017
Owls are basically just night chickens.
— madds (@whatmaddness) September 2, 2017
there was a bee pic.twitter.com/Jgc9tKFVyy
— PK ٩ʕ•͡וʔ۶ (@PULPKetchup) September 3, 2017
[the invention of knocking]
i’m gonna punch your house until you talk to me
— glam cabal (@themiltron) April 30, 2017
INTERVIEWER: Why did u leave your last job?
ME: Because of something my boss said
I: It says here u were fired
ME: That’s the thing he said— Jon (@ArfMeasures) September 4, 2017
*stabs self in the eye while drinking green tea*
I shall sue everyone pic.twitter.com/83osCHer63
— Brian Doyle (@WritePlay) September 4, 2017
I’m really really really enjoying my new thesaurus
— mo (@chuuew) August 29, 2017
Before I answer, define healthy relationship
— Wilde Thingy (@wildethingy) January 27, 2013
THERAPIST: It sounds like she’s saying you can be condescending.
ME: *Whispers to wife* That means, like, talking down to you.
— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) August 24, 2017
If you need even more, you can check out the top tweets from last week.
