Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some hilarious tweets from long ago. Either way, these were 15 of the best tweets we saw this week.
He’s not even trying anymore… pic.twitter.com/DHxbkqKy6q
— mo (@chuuew) January 16, 2017
If i was a bat i’d fuck with my bat friends by standing right side up on a branch while they’re all asleep and then i’d just start screaming
— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) January 16, 2017
The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater.
— markydoodoo (@markydoodoo) January 17, 2017
TRUMP: Russia did not hack us
TRUMP: Russia may have hacked us
TRUMP: Россия определенно взломан нас
— Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) January 11, 2017
Ewoks only. pic.twitter.com/K6DNss0KAF
— Olly Ohlson (@ojedge) January 16, 2017
Why doesn’t anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we’re such cool people out with whom to hang?
— Lauren O’Neal (@laureneoneal) October 16, 2014
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) January 18, 2017
Me: should i put the christmas stuff in the attic
Wife: let’s keep it down
Me: *whispering* should i put the christmas stuff in the attic
— Fro Vo (@fro_vo) January 16, 2017
“Nutella causes cancer” says one scientist with his mouth covered in chocolate. “Send your jars to me and I will dispose of them.”
— Ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) January 12, 2017
3 Doors Down tour dates
• tiny theater in Winnipeg
• Florida Strawberry Fest
• THE INAUGURATION OF AN ACTUAL PRESIDENT
•a casino in Alberta
— Zach Schonfeld (@zzzzaaaacccchhh) January 13, 2017
My uncle went to Japan and a man liked him so much he made him out of sushi pic.twitter.com/kAvDaR9icP
— keep it classy (@odysseypeach) January 14, 2017
Men: the state shouldn’t subsidize birth control
Also men: abortion should be illegal
ALSO men: Wanna fuck?
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) January 13, 2017
I will honk a boob. But I will also punch a boob. Mostly I don’t know what to do with boobs. pic.twitter.com/cFjVk1POIy
— Amy X (@MsFoxIfUrNasty) January 12, 2017
The bible used for the Presidential oath just backed out of the inauguration.
— beth can’t with this (@bourgeoisalien) January 18, 2017
ME: I bought you some new undershirts.
HIM: [genuinely] That’s exciting.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 4, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s funniest tweets.