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Expert Explains How To Use Love Languages For Self-Care, Too

You’ve most likely heard of “love languages.” The concept is from a book by Gary Chapman from the early nineties called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. The book has become popular amongst coupled people who feel sometimes like their partners don’t love them, a depressing thing to think! Chapman’s thesis is that actually everyone just perceives loving gestures differently, and when you figure out what demonstrative love looks like to you and to your partner then you can show it to each other more easily.

Or you might find out you really don’t love each other. Either way, a lot more becomes clear!

Jessica Pierre is a Boston-based woman who runs Queens Company, a networking group and mutual support system “dedicated to empowering women of color,” according to Bored Panda. Phire recently shared some ideas she had about how love languages could be used by people who don’t have a partner at all and who still deserve love.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this but practice your love languages on yourself,” she started.

Twitter/Jessicah Pierre

Pierre went on to discuss the five love languages as established by Chapman, and how they might look if you used them to love yourself instead of loving another person.

Words of affirmation:

Acts of service:

Quality time:

Physical touch:

Gifts:

To sum up:

“A friend of mine told me to be more actionable about how I practice self-love and self care so I started exploring what that would look like,” Pierre told BP, which is what got her thinking about it.

“It sounds simple, but society, social media, and our families influence a lot of who we are,” she explained, saying with so many external distractions “it’s easy to lose our true essence amongst the noise

This thread has been really helpful to a lot of people. Using the love language model of demonstration makes sense with partners, either in giving or receiving love. The simple translation here to self-love connects all the dots.

Some said they’d already caught on to the idea of using their love language on themselves and it was making a big difference in their lives:


Though, some people are a bit stuck on “physical touch.”

But you gotta start somewhere. How about a foot soak?

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Aimeé Lutkin