34 Tweets That’ll Make Married People Laugh And Also Probably Cry

They call the first 1-2 years of being married the “Honeymoon Phase,” but what do they call the rest of it?

If these hilariously spot-on tweets about marriage are any indication, they should call everything else the “I Love This Person, But Seriously WTF Is Wrong With Them Phase”

Enjoy! And be sure to passive-aggressively tag your spouse in this post — since passive-aggressive social media tagging is pretty much 73% of marriage these days.

1.

In case you're wondering what marriage is like, my husband and I just fought over the fact that he wouldn't tell me where he hid the candy I asked him to hide from me.

— Lindsey Silver (@EvenTheDogsABoy) February 23, 2018

2.

My wife and I hit an important marriage milestone.

We had a fight entirely in fridge magnets. pic.twitter.com/sUvXbe2Fnn

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 4, 2015

3.

4.

Tell me how tired you are so I can upstage you and tell you how much more tired I am.

-marriage

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) September 2, 2017

5.

6.

7.

My wife and I are texting while sitting next to each other so we can complain about an annoying guy near us in the waiting room. #MarriedLife

— William Morgan (@wmorgan3000) March 2, 2018

8.

9.

https://twitter.com/deegeemindi/status/852651104542351361

10.

11.

wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked?
me: Yep
wife: What temperature?
me: 534
wife: That's the clock
me
wife
me: 535

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 16, 2017

12.

I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017

13.

https://twitter.com/better_off_dad/status/919358514698555392?ref_src=twsrctfw&ref_url=httpwww.distractify.comhumor201803022azFXOmarriage-aint-easy

14.

https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/834125937713217541?ref_src=twsrctfw&ref_url=httpwww.distractify.comhumor201803022azFXOmarriage-aint-easy

15.

[Me, on my deathbed]

Wife: Is that what you're going to wear?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 23, 2017