Kelly Oxford is a best-selling author, screenwriter, blogger, actress, and so on.
She wears a lot of hats and has been killing it on Twitter for quite a while.
However, her Twitter feed has recently received even more attention due to her sharing the hilarious shit her now seven-year old says on her Twitter account.
I’ve gotta say, this seems like one pretty entertaining little kid. But you see for yourself.
Here are some of the best tweets.
Waiter: You finished dessert fast; want anything else?
Bea 7yo: No thanks (Whispers to self) kinda weird to ask that after serving dessert.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2016
7yo “They have night cameras on Survivor? Guess they can’t have sex”
Me “I can’t believe you said that.
7yo “I can’t believe I did either.”
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 5, 2016
7yo “Is Ellen a girl? Is she a transfer girl?”
Me “She’s lesbian.”
7yo “So basically just gay. Got it. Like all my friends moms.”
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 30, 2015
7yr old: Wait! Do animals make babies the same way people do??
7yr old, mutters: Oh my god.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 28, 2015
7yr old: will the apopolypse ever happen?
7yr old: I kinda hope it does, so I can try human meat.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 24, 2015
7yr old “Do women get their periods on weekends too?”
7yr old mutters to herself “Jesus Christ”
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015
Me: Look at the sunset; it’s so pink.
7yr old Daughter: Please, don’t take a picture.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) October 20, 2015
My 7yr old daughter just saw me topless & stared, whispering, “I’m never gonna take off my bra.” 🙁
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) September 9, 2015
7yr old “what’s a hooker”
Me “someone who has sex for money”
7yr old “oh god, that’s a terrible job”
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 23, 2015
6 yr old told friend she could go to Starbucks on her own because she was really 24yrs old but had a lot of plastic surgery. 🙏🏽😂😂
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 14, 2015
6yr old just saw a butt-centric pic of Kim Kardashian and asked, “How does she fit on a toilet?”
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 22, 2015
(h/t The Chive)
So you like funny tweets, do you? Would you care to see why Ryan Reynolds Is Better At Twitter Than Any Of Us Will Ever Be?