Planters has announced the death of Mr. Peanut, not mentioning Benson, his grieving husband. Planters claimed the pair were “just friends” but they shared clothes, eyebrows and salt, and enjoyed giving each other nutjobs. “He was my soulmate,” says Benson, “and a healthy snack” pic.twitter.com/gaYVvuNKT8
— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) January 22, 2020
Mr. Peanut called me just last night saying he had concrete evidence that stevie wonder can see and would be presenting it today at a press conference. Shame to hear about his passing
— anti-horny brigade (@kingcoonta) January 22, 2020
An entire political party is trying to prevent evidence from being heard in a trial in order to protect the most corrupt President in any of our lifetimes, and we’re consumed with stupid ephemeral garbage on Twitter. I’m glad Mr. Peanut isn’t alive to see this.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) January 22, 2020
Planters CEO: I’m sooo bored… Let’s fucking kill Mr. Peanut.
Board member: Kill Mr. Peanut?! But why..?
Planters CEO: [Drunk with power] JUST BRING ME HIS HEAD!
— The Ice Cream Social (@ICScomedy) January 22, 2020
Imagine being the people who looked at 2020 and went, “This year isn’t shitty enough. Let’s kill Mr. Peanut.”#ripmrpeanut
— thebarbercangiveyouahaircut (@badbangsclub) January 22, 2020
— Nik 🚀 (@leafsfannik) January 22, 2020
If this is a scam and they bring Mr Peanut back from the dead I’m never eating a peanut again
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) January 22, 2020
so mr. peanut was 6’1” and he hanged himself from a bunk bed? and the two guards who were supposed to be watching him fell asleep while all this was happening? yeah sorry i don’t buy it
— Andrea More (@amore_orless) January 22, 2020
andrew yang was posting feet
jeffrey bezos cell phone breach
fairway (maybe??) closing stores
mr. peanut dead at 104 https://t.co/EK6cxmD2Sl
— julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) January 22, 2020
I desperately need this Mr. Peanut thing to fail because if killing off 100 year old cartoon mascots for junk food thing takes off, it won’t end. 2020 will just be a food mascot graveyard.
— Mikey Neumann (@mikeyface) January 22, 2020