Ah, human language. It allows us to communicate our feelings, figure out complicated philosophical issues, and unite huge groups of people. It also allows us to make up absolute whoppers to tell our friends and family for absolutely no reason. And old Twitter thread started by @MoosAllain in 2017 is circulating again, maybe because of a recent resurgence of interest in weird and useless facts. The next step is clearly made up and useless “facts.”
The Moose kicked things off just by sharing a story about convincing a friend that Dutch cars don’t have handbrakes, and untrue thing. Why did he do that? Who knows.
I once managed to convince a friend that Dutch cars don’t have handbrakes.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 22, 2017
There are a lot of people out there lying on their friends for no reason, and some of their lies are pretty funny and harmless. Some of them are lies they told their kids, the easiest marks of all. Being a parent has to be fun some of the time, right? Read through for ideas, if you can’t come up with any convincing lies on your own.
1.
When I was working as a vet in practice a nurse used to tell clients I was one of the Nolan Sisters, but unfortunately couldn’t sing at all. And not to mention it as it was a sore point with me. There are probably people who still believe that. https://t.co/sXZkkTpGP0
— Katherine Nolan (@DoChara) August 5, 2018
2.
In an old job I convinced several people that a) dogs are solid meat and have no internal organs and b) greyhounds are fast because they are hollow dogs. https://t.co/UplaoruDcZ
— Errrrrr, Will (@teletextpage152) August 5, 2018
4.
We once told my mate that Starbucks was owned by Jimmy Tarbuck
— Harry Myers (@PeasOneDay) April 23, 2017
5.
as a teenager, i convinced a girl my mother had invented the concept of the filled baked potato.
— euan mccolm (@euanmccolm) April 23, 2017
6.
My brother briefly convinced me that Rugby was invented by Sir Geoffrey Rugby
— Frey (@Bolt_451) February 10, 2020
7.
Once told a friend that our local boating lake, known by all as the Boating Lake, was named not after the boats you could hire but a breed of duck, the Boateng Duck, which was imported from Vietnam after its natural habitat had been destroyed by Agent Orange.
— David Llewellyn (@TheDaiLlew) February 10, 2020
8.
I once told a work colleague that if she took a cup of tea to Mercury it would expand to be the same size as Lake Windermere. I heard her repeat the fact to someone else.
— Graeme Flynn (@BonkersMendez) February 10, 2020
9.
My Dad told me, then 11, that Salvador Dali got his first job painting bikes in a Harley Davidson factory. You can still find the odd one inscribed Dali Havidson. Worth a fortune. Told my art teacher in front of the whole class. As the words came out my mouth I got the joke.
— Joshua (@freestylejish) August 5, 2018
10.
Also convinced my kids that the side of the road we were driving on was for people going….the other side was for coming back…
— James Blake (@jamesrhblake) February 10, 2020