Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some funny tweets from long ago. Either way, these were 15 of the funniest tweets we saw this week.
Possible Trump VPs:
-The Eye of Sauron
-The bees from My Girl
-A vial of Smallpox
-Buzz from Home Alone
-A grease fire
— Rob Fee (@robfee) June 12, 2016
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 13, 2016
is he peeing into the frog’s mouth … or is the frog spitting on his dick pic.twitter.com/OvC2zNRg6U
— Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood) June 11, 2016
The genius of the Trump Clinton Twitter war of 2016 is that it consumes Trump’s every waking minute & Clinton doesn’t know it’s happening.
— Mark Hammer (@markhammer1987) June 11, 2016
A Freaky Friday remake with Pitbull and Sean Paul but no one notices the difference or gives a shit
— (((Michael))) (@Home_Halfway) June 10, 2016
Me: hey, I’m looking for an email.
iPhone mail: this one from 2012, unrelated to your search?
Me: no it was last week
iPhone: can’t find it.
— Ben Rector (@benrector) June 12, 2016
Gucci, thoughtfully giving us a way of letting everyone know you’re British and have a bladder infection. pic.twitter.com/rrABzI0PNm
— (((quinn cummings))) (@quinncy) June 12, 2016
I need me a friend like this.. pic.twitter.com/MIdHbWqzUk
— Real Tweets™ (@iKeepItTooReal) June 10, 2016
There is nothing like the sound of a child’s laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted.
— Howard Mittelmark (@HMittelmark) February 22, 2015
The Whiplash sequel looks scary af. pic.twitter.com/oyXFxUFbgj
— mohib (@chuuew) June 9, 2016
It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016
if you’re asking me to choose between you and my obsession with buzzfeed then here’s 13 reasons why we should break up, you won’t believe #6
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) June 9, 2016
ME: It’s a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts.
PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids.
OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish.
— Donatello Jackson (@cepheusjackson) June 10, 2016
[on 1st date]
Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before?
Her: No, I’d love to
Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
— dak (@daplusk) July 5, 2015
Y’all think it’s bad that Taylor Swift is dating again so soon, but nobody says a word to me when I eat lunch 45 minutes after breakfast.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 15, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s funniest tweets.