Jon
21.
Every night when I cover our parakeet I say “snug as a bug”.
If I don’t say it now he squawks until I do 🐦— Pam Harper (@PamHarper20) February 1, 2019
22.
Our washing machine is from South Korea and chimes a little melody when a drying cycle is finished. My girlfriend and I decided that it is in fact playing the North Korean national anthem, so whenever it goes off we solemnly stand with our hand over our heart staring into space.
— Michel Levien G. (@Michel_Levien) February 1, 2019
23.
I have to text my Mum when I get in from work so she knows I’m safe. I’m 51.
— Cisco Ventura (@cisco664uk) February 1, 2019
24.
Every time our cat or dog makes a noise we say ‘they didn’t!?’ If they ‘reply’ we follow up with ‘they never!?’ and ‘what, today!?’ and so on, like they’re telling us an amazing story. This has now escalated to any animal we come across. Pets, cows, zoo animals…
— Andi T 💕💕💕 (@Andreatlr) February 1, 2019
25.
Every time I open the fridge to feed the dog I tell him “Let’s see what we have for breakfast/dinner today… oh, look, it’s DOGFOOD, your favourite!” Every time.
— Jinx (@upsteeplebat) February 1, 2019
26.
I can’t leave the house without carrying three poo bags. Always three. The time I only took two my dog did the triple and I was forced to improvise with a large leaf and discarded tin of Dr Pepper.
— David C. Hill (@davidchill) February 1, 2019
27.
This is my husband’s. If I say I’m going to the loo, he’ll always reply “Don’t fall in.” We’ve been together 15 years and I haven’t fallen in yet, so I suppose it works.
— Cal Wilson (@calbo) February 2, 2019
28.
Every morning I’m late for work because I get drawn in to reading Twitter threads. And every night, when I go to bed I say night night to the hamster. Only, because hamsters speak a slightly different version of English I have to say Nipe nipe, or he doesn’t understand me.
— primrose (@craftyprimrose) February 1, 2019
29.
Whenever my wife @polldoodle talks about taking in another animal, (usually something implausible like a hippo) I HAVE to say, “But what about the smell?”
And she HAS to answer, “Oh, the hippo won’t mind.”
— Phil (@fatboyfat) February 1, 2019
30.
When I go shopping with my husband we often go into different shops and Every Time I say “I think the time has come for us to split up” and he replies “are we separating ?” And I say “yes, but let’s meet up later and get back together”. Always.
— Francesca R (@frannyranny) February 1, 2019
