A good apology is rare. In case you’ve never actually heard one, they usually include acknowledging what you’ve done wrong, saying you’re sorry for the hurt it caused, and expressing exactly how you plan to do better in the future and make amends right now. If more people were good at making proper apologies, we would probably have a lot less conflict in general and much better relationships interpersonally.
But they’re not. Lots of people suck at it! And not generalize, but men… are not always great at it. Some men. Many men. Certainly, the men who messed with the women replying to this tweet from @aj_fairley, who wrote, “Apologize like a man….GOOOO.”
He included a few laughing and crying emojis because he knew the clowning that was to ensue.
Apologize like a man…GOOOO😭😂
— Arthur Fairley Jr. (@aj_fairley) January 30, 2020
The responses triggered my fight or flight response. So many of them were all too familiar. Non-apologies that shift blame, minimize responsibility, gaslight, or simply ignore any wrong-doing. I’ve heard all of these, and I bet you have, too. If you’re a dude reading this, scroll through and see if you recognize any of your own lines. We’re onto you: