At the moment, many of us are thinking nostalgically about going to a bar and having a drink with a stranger and maybe even making out afterward. It’s called dating and it’s a blast. That’s what quarantine has me thinking, anyway. Six weeks of lockdown and I suddenly want to subject myself to the gauntlet of first dates again, despite many years of experience telling me that the process actually sucks.
That’s why we still need threads of people on Twitter sharing nightmare date stories. They keep us grounded in reality. Like this one started by Twitter user @millercycle. They simply asked, “Tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on.”
Tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on.
— millercycle (@millercycle) April 21, 2020
People did share their dating horror stories and they should keep me from wanting to open Tinder for maybe another week or two. Then I’ll forget again…or start to think that some of these dates still sound better than another Saturday night sheltering in place.
He spent the entire time insulting me, telling me how much hotter the waitress was, and then jokingly asked if I had an eating disorder because I wasn’t eating (repulsed, I had no appetite) and followed it with a comment about my tits
— © (@shesatornado) April 21, 2020
He asked me to meet him at his house. It turns out it’s his parents house. He lives in the basement. He didn’t have a car. He wanted me to give him a haircut before going. I still went to dinner. He ordered for me. Insisted on it.
— 💎ime St👛re C🐮wgirl (@dimestorec0wgrl) April 21, 2020
A prom date took me to the McDonald’s drive-thru for our fancy prom dinner. pic.twitter.com/NoiZCwZdGW
— Hella_of_Troy (@OfHella) April 21, 2020
I was 20. When he met up he grabbed my tits and went, “I didn’t think they were actually real”
— Skylarked? 🖤 (@AardvarkEmpress) April 21, 2020
One time a waiter brought us a free appetizer, fried Mac and cheese balls (SO GOOD) and this man dead ass told me I wasn’t allowed to eat them because they bad for you. Sir I only weigh 100 pounds, I think I’m fine. Thanks. https://t.co/YWFyH3rglL
— Ashden (@ashdenxanderson) April 21, 2020
Dinner date, While I was in the bathroom she decided to steal my phone/wallet from my coat I left on my chair. When it came time to pay the bill i couldn’t. so I had the waiter use “find my phone”. In the middle of ranting why thief’s are the worsts. It rang loud from her purse
— Mitty (@Dimariae) April 22, 2020
He was a trump supporter.
I live in London. I was not prepared.
The waitress snuck me out.
I reviewed them on trip advisor.
— ⚜️The Duchess of London⚜️🇬🇧 (@HarrietHot) April 21, 2020
Went back to her place after dinner and drinks, started making out, made our way to the bedroom… only to hear a *cough* from the closet, where her husband was hiding with a video camera.
— Ignoble Savage (@drayzze) April 21, 2020
Girl invited me to a picnick in the park after flirting with me all week, but just needed someone to watch out for her safety on the blind date she’d planned. I was her wingman. She admitted she flirted to get me to go 😛 did not understand why that was rude / misleading. https://t.co/83YE3WguY1
— Mike the Fox #FnordFox🏳️🌈 (@JenPallante) April 21, 2020
It was to a ball game. Guy kept getting up, asking me if I needed stuff. Lines are long I get it. But he kept getting up, being gone, I eventually had the entire concession stand. Finally he got up again and I followed him. He had another date on the other side of the field.
— 🌷🌸Melissa🌸🌷 (@doordecorby) April 21, 2020