Sometimes romantic relationships change friendships. You’re doing a lot more with your significant other, and your friend might feel slighted or sad.
But hopefully, the friendship can grow and evolve — or both parties are mature enough to agree that the friendship is different now. Unfortunately, some people have a really hard time with this — and one of the hardest times is now memorialized as an AITA post on Reddit.
One maid of honor decided it was a great time to unload her despair over “losing” her best friend during her speech at the wedding. Bad times all around.
“On Saturday my childhood best friend got married. Her husband is very lovely and he takes care of her. They’ve been together for 7 years and I’ve known him pretty well through my friendship with my best friend. But after they got serious things changed. Our friendship changed. And yeah a lot of you will say this is natural and priorities change and I agree. I agree that things can not always be the same and how her priority now is her husband and the family she’ll create with him. But still. I feel completely mad about it. I know I should respect her and move on with my life but I have to also make peace with the fact that this change does not make me feel well,” the OP writes.
“I was her MOH. A great honor indeed. The entire time of the ceremony I was sobbing. Not because I felt touched. But because I mourned our friendship. That day was the day that my hopes of things returning back to what they used to be were gone. Everyone thought it was cute and how touched and happy I was but I was not. But I couldn’t say it out loud.”
“I had a MOH speech ready but all of it was just a lie so I decided to scrap my actual MOH speech and speak honestly. I said that I don’t want to lie, I want to be honest but I’m not happy. I’m not happy that this person she married is the reason our friendship changed. I’m not happy on this day. I just pretended the whole day out of her sake but it would be a shame of me to get up there and lie about how happy and excited I am. I said I’m not happy but regardless I have to suck it up and congratulate the happy couple. There was awkward silence for 2-3 minutes after my speech. My bff was whispering with with her new husband. The entire night my bff ignored me. I asked to speak to her and she angrily told me how it’s not the right time. Many guests gave me judgy looks.”
“It had been 2 days and my bff hadn’t texted or called me and also ignored my texts and calls. During that time many of our common friends said that what I did was very selfish and that masking selfishness as honesty is not an excuse to make things awkward on the wedding. My bff contacted me 2 days after and only asked me if my purpose was to ruin the mood of her wedding. I said no. The purpose was to be honest. She said I’m trying to play the victim and how she can’t believe I haven’t even shown a bit of remorse about what I said. I said I can’t apologise for being honest. She said many people believe I’m TA including her. Her husband now feels uncomfortable about me. AITA?”
It’s sad that this friend is mourning the friendship she had that changed, but to unload on the wedding day? Not okay.
“YTA for making your best friend’s wedding about yourself. Have you considered working with a therapist to figure out why this is impacting you in such a major way,” asked
“OP needs to get into therapy. She had several options, not come to the wedding, not give a speech, or end the friendship. She chose none of those options. Instead, she decided to ruin her BF’s wedding. Making the kind of speech you’d expect from an angry teenager whose parents are getting remarried. OP needs therapy and to stay away from her friend. Although I’m sure their friendship is over now and all her other friends are adding her to a ‘Do Not Invite,’ list for their weddings,” said
“Yeah YTA, a giant A. Get over yourself. It’s been seven years and things change when you are committed to someone that long. I got angry reading your message, I’m angry for her. You made things uncomfortable for her on her wedding day and then proceeded to make the next two days about you (when she’s on her honeymoon) if I were her husband I would feel uncomfortable because it would sound like you don’t like him. I would never talk to you again, and I would advise her to do the same. You’re selfish and clearly have an inability to change or be flexible. It’s been seven years. Relationships change. Your relationship with her will be nonexistent now, actions have consequences. Leave her alone in her honeymoon,” advised
“Jesus….are you actually out of your mind??? You a speech talking about how miserable you were that your friend was getting married AT HER OWN WEDDING?? Listen. Sometimes your feelings are just not relevant. And this is one of those times. Your honesty was neither needed nor appropriate. All you did was screw up a hugely important day for your friend because you couldn’t look past your own feelings for 10 minutes and out your friend first. YTA,” said
“YTA WTF how could you possibly be this clueless? Your crying was inappropriate, your resentment is alarming, your speech shows your inability to consider anyone but yourself, and your friendship is over. Being honest about being a terrible, selfish person still makes you an a**hole,” said
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