In a super interesting and sometimes hilarious (but also equally infuriating) conversation, Twitter user Marcus Vance asked people what their biggest name problems were. And let’s just say, there are plenty of them.
What’s the biggest problem you have with your name?
My biggest problem?
Me: “Hi, I’m Marcus. Nice to meet you.”
Business people: “Hi, Marcus. Do you go by Mark?”
Me: “No. If I did then don’t you think I’d introduce myself as that?”
— Marcus Vance (@MarcusCVance) January 9, 2020
Do you ever walk into Starbucks and give the barista your name—only to end up with something that barely resembles it scribbled onto the cup? How did Peter become Tiffany? What about having a name that no one can pronounce? Does it take forever to get someone on the other end of the phone to understand who the hell you even are? And what about the dreaded double-barrel surname? Oh, the horror!
By the way, the author of this article—hi, my name is Lisa Marie Basile—gets either, “Are you named after Lisa Marie Presley?” (God, no), or “Oh, like Bastille Day! Are you French?” (I’m Italian, and there’s no T in my name).
You’re (sadly) not alone, Mark — er, we mean Marcus.
No one can pronounce or spell it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been called “Renato” in an email. Hell, my company that I’ve been with for FOUR YEARS misspelled my name on my new nameplate ♀️ pic.twitter.com/mwTrZsWtJi
— Renata Leo | Buffalo Sauce Everywhere (@renataoleo) January 9, 2020
Feel this. James, not Jim… but there are those who refuse to say James, “can I call you Jim?” “I go by James” “ ok Jim” guess I’m Jim in this conversation, perhaps I should make up a name for them…
— James Petrillo (@petrillo_author) January 9, 2020
People pronounce my first name (Gillian) with a hard ‘G.’ They’re very certain that I’m mispronouncing it. Surely, they say, a ‘G’ followed by an ‘i’ is a hard ‘G.”
Yeah. Like ‘Giant.’ And ‘Giraffe.’
— Gillian M Kendall (@GillianMKendall) January 9, 2020
Me: Hi, I am Joyce.
Q: What’s your real name?
Q: What’s your name in your language?
Me: Joyce pic.twitter.com/1rM6XavBu2
— Joyce Belfort (@JoyceBelfort) January 9, 2020
“Hi, I’m Chesney.”
“Are you related to Kenny Chesney?!”
Yes, this has happened WAY too many times. No, I’m not joking.
— Chesney Infalt (@ChesneyInfalt) January 9, 2020
Me- Hi, I’m Noosha.
People- Hi, Michelle!
Me- No, it’s Noosha.
People- Oh… Lucia.
Me- Noosha. N as in Nancy, 2 Os, S as in Sam, H as in Henry, A as in apple.
People- Oh… Hi!
Me- You can call me Nicki.
— Noosha is writing. (@ravaghi) January 9, 2020
A lot of people think I’m one of the guys who made South Park.
… I’m actually both of those guys.
— Trey Stone (@TreyStoneAuthor) January 9, 2020
Me: “Hi, my name is Adrienne.”
*Silently begs them not to—*
Them: “Like the movie? YO ADRIENNE!!!”
Me: *dies inside, for the millionth time*
I tend to go by Addy just to avoid the association, though as the years pass, less and less people have seen it. Thank the gods.
— Addy, Elsewhere[Author, Cybrarian, Chaotic Bi] (@SkeptiCybrarian) January 9, 2020
I send emails, with ‘Kind regards, Travis’ at the end and receive replies that begin ‘Hi Robert’.
My first name is quite unusual in the UK, I admit, but unless you think I sign emails off with my surname, all you had to do was begin yours with literally the last word I wrote.
— Travis Roberts (@TravisRoberts72) January 10, 2020
“Hi I’m Manick”
“Nice to meet you Malik”
“No it’s MaNick, as in depressive”
— Manick Govinda (@manick62) January 10, 2020