Strippers lead a life unlike anything us normies can understand. Whether you judge them or not, you have to understand this profession isn’t going anywhere. People will always want to see naked women, and there will always be naked women who want the cash.
Strippers are kind of like cops. They only interact with the public when the public is at it’s most chaotic. Because of this they have some great stories.
Redditors have asked for the best, weirdest, most carefully guarded stories from the realm of erotic dancing.
And because they are at heart very generous, the strippers have replied. (As well as a few bouncers and a couple of customers who happened to witness something particularly salacious.)
Here are the best of the best stories, memories, and confessions from strippers out there:
One of our old dancers passed away 10 years ago in a drunk driving accident. Every holiday her mom and some of her church friends come into the club and pass cookies and jewelry to girls in memorial. We love our sweet church ladies.
2. Pays to be savage.
I got paid $500 to beat a man with his own belt on stage for his last night as a bachelor. I was brutal and the more savage I got, the more tips rolled in. That poor guy. But through all the screams and wincing, he actually loved every bit of it. Hope he healed before the wedding. —chaotica78
3. Open wide (but not like you think)
Very first night stripping some old guy in overalls with pretty poor dental hygiene asked me how many fillings I have. I told him one. He asked if it was silver or gold. “Uhh… silver”. Then he asks if I will open my mouth and let him look at my teeth?? I was pretty timid so I did and he complained it was too dark to see well.
A few months later I see him again in another club but he has a fucking flashlight this time. He tells me he wants a dance and then when we get to the back says that he really just wants to look at my teeth. So I open my mouth and he’s annoyed at my one filling and otherwise healthy teeth. He insisted I find a girl with bad teeth so I said I’d find one and then hid in the dressing room until he left. —Lacielady
4. Just because it’s “that time of the month” doesn’t mean the grind stops.
Sometimes there are “house moms” who run the dressing rooms. Sometimes the house mom is a gay guy. Sometimes he is tasked with trimming or tucking in a girl’s tampon string so it doesn’t show when she is nude on stage. —Ultra-PowerfulCutex
5. Give me the ol’ Weekend At Bernie’s treatment.
There was once a regular at one of my clubs who would ask you to pretend to be dead while you sat with him, and if you were good at enough at it he would buy a room with you where you would pretend to be dead while he pretended to embalm you. He was a no longer licensed mortician 🙁 —Slime__queen
6. Free celery!
Hick club…guy who was a celery farmer came in and gave us all free bags of celery. There was also candle guy (worked at a candle factory and would bring in the reject candles). Supposedly other farmers with various free foods would come in but I only got hooked up with celery and candles. —knit1lift2
“I was fresh out of high school and working as a stripper so I could afford to feed my two kids (a 3-month-old and a 15-month-old). I was on stage and looked out and saw my dad’s best friend. He took me home, we slept together, and I left with $20,000. No regrets.”
8. Gotta keep limber,
I used to work with a girl who was flexible, but her knee would occasionally just slip out of place. She’d elegantly punch it back into place and finish her set before chugging pain meds and icing it. Nobody would know the difference.
Another girl I knew would get walk-into-walls drunk, yet always knew her exact amount of money and could do a standing split at the edge of a stage in 8-inch heels no matter how trashed.
I once watched a 4’11” dancer nearly rock a vending machine over on herself because she wanted a snack. Same girl saved herself and another dancer from a 10 foot fall off the pole when the other girl lost her grip and they both dropped. Sheer force of thigh. Best coworkers ever. —ioantha
9. May I recommend moving to the second row?
I worked in a club that had a catwalk-type addition to the stage, and at the end of it was a spinning pole. It was very poorly designed as it was not a very wide space around the pole. So the sheer amount of people I’d accidentally kick in the face while doing pole tricks is INSANE and like 80% of them would apologise to me and tip me for ‘ruining my flow’. I always got a bit of a giggle about that
10. “She really likes me, I can tell.”
Less typically attractive girls tend to still make insane money as desperate men think they have a chance to score with them so will pay big money to spend time in VIP with them. These girls know this and milk the men for everything before leaving them for the next desperate customer. —CMK120894
11. Polly wanna lap dance?
One time, a customer brought in her pet parrot to the bar. I obviously spent the rest of my shift talking with the parrot. His name was pickle he tipped me a Dollar…he was a real gem. —kylajill
12. Sexy and menses don’t usually go together.
Girl had her period on stage and didn’t know it, I had to put on gloves and try to sexily clean the stage without drawing any more attention to the red smeared floor —clearier
I’ve seen my share of fights. My old home club’s bouncers were short-tempered as f—k. It was so common that we girls would calmly sit and watch bouncers & managers brawl with a customer down the length of the bar to remove him. I watched a manager use bouncers like mob goons & hold a guy pinned on the concrete outside until he handed over his wallet — manager helped himself to the money owed + $50 tip for the girl in question. It was sh-tty HOW violent they got but at least I knew I’d get my $$$ if a guy tried to dip. —Metal___Barbie
“I stripped for about three years when I was in my twenties to pay off student debt. Toward the end, I became pregnant with my daughter. During that time, I made about double the money I normally earned. You would NOT believe how many men were more into me because I was visibly pregnant.” —Anonymous, BuzzFeed Community