image of woman in wedding dress on pile of hay
AITA

Bride Roasted For Getting Pissed At “Goody Two Shoes” Bridesmaid Who Didn’t Want To See Strippers

Oh no. This Reddit user got in some hot water with her bridesmaid, as well as the entire internet. 

Recently, a Reddit user posted about being upset over a bridesmaid not coming to her bachelorette party. Apparently, the bridesmaid was not comfortable with being in the same room as male strippers. OP goes on to describe the situation:

“She told me she would be very upset if her husband attended a party with strippers and so she would never even ask to do the same. It would be “hypocritical” of her to hold him to those standards but expect to be able to do what she wanted just bc it was my Bachelorette. June told me she’d be happy to attend once they left but there was no way she’d disrespect her husband like that. She also said that even if he wasn’t in the picture, she’s not comfortable with it.”

“I got very upset and told her she was a bad friend for completely refusing to even ask her husband or to put aside her goody-two-shoes attitude for one night thats for ME, NOT her or her husband.”

She then asked fellow Redditors if she was the asshole for getting mad, and they were not gentle. Below is a whole big chorus of “YTA”:

1.

“YTA not everyone is comfortable with nudity, I am, but I realize that not everybody is me. So stop forcing and peer-pressuring your friend into male nudity. She said she would attend once they leave to support you. That doesn’t make her a bad friend. I mean I find strippers incredibly tacky and there is a literal pandemic, but I guess you do your Bachelorette party” – Mesapholis

2.

“I don’t understand what type of support OP thinks she’s going to need during her bachelorette party. She’s hosting a pre-wedding party, not going through chemo. It’s not even the actual wedding!” – ThievingRock

3.

“YTA OP. Your shitass bachelorette party is not more important than your bridesmaid’s personal boundaries and marriage. She didn’t demand for you to not have strippers, if she did-that would be an asshole move on her part. She opted for attending after the strippers leave, which is a very fair compromise. OP, she’s standing up at YOUR wedding and supporting you and your fiancé. Not being present at the bachelorette party with strippers DOES NOT mean that she isn’t supportive of you. You’re delusional and entitled.” – B_Alcamo

4.

“Strippers aren’t just naked people. Stripping is a section of sex work. Its not like just a nude model for a painting or a nude patient in a medical or spa setting, strippers are nude specifically to sexually entice.

I’m not judging sex workers, I have friends who have had various sex worker jobs, I’m just saying its not just “nudity”, it’s a whole other level.” – throwaway1975764

5.

“Exactly! I don’t have a problem with nudity. I don’t want to have someone grinding up near me. To each their own, but it isn’t for me.” – Viperbunny

6.

“I agree. Nudity isn’t a big deal to me. And I love the movie Magic Mike XXL. But – having gone to actual male entertainment shows- they’re just not my thing.

And the thought of being at a party where some sweaty half naked guy is trying to dance up on me and my friends for tips during a pandemic sounds like an awful time.” – CelticSpoonie

7.

“A million time this. I’m super comfortable with nudity. I’m naked in my house, I’ve drawn nude models in art classes without an issue, and I have no problem with being nude around friends.

Strippers weird me out. Like I don’t judge them or care is someone sees them. At the same time I have no urge to see them. Honestly I would be super uncomfortable going to a male or female strip club or seeing either strip. Random people nude in a sexual manner around me isn’t anything I would be comfortable with.” – sraydenk

8.

“stripping is specifically sexual nudity. there are forms of non sexual nudity, stripping is not one of them. I literally make money to sell sex, or the IDEA of sex, even if no sexual contact is taking place. I’m grinding on crotches. What do they expect? edit: tho to be clear, boundaries revolving non sexual nudity are still just as valid IMO in this instance. even if it weren’t astripper, i can understand not wanting to go to a nude art model painting or exhibition either.” – eternachaos

9.

“Even people who ARE comfortable with nudity may not like stripper parties.

I love nudity AND stripped through college. One of the biggest things I missed about Burning Man not happening in person this year is that I didn’t get to spend nearly two weeks wandering around naked when I felt like it.

But I’m really not wild about bachelor/ette stripper parties. In a club, there’s lots of security around to help ensure the strippers are respected & not assaulted. Not so in parties usually and I just can’t relax at a party like that unless I know for sure that every single party participant understands and will follow what they can and cannot do to the stripper.

So I wouldn’t go to a party like this unless I knew every invitee and knew that they were good people. OP is a huge asshole.” – Celany

10.

“I’m OK with nudity. I’ve been to nudist spaces before. I hang out with hippies. My friends sometimes just get naked in front of me when they’re changing or I run into them on apps.

My partner and I are monogamous (in terms of relationships) but not exclusive (in terms of sex) and it’s not even really a structured polyamory thing, it’s just that we don’t care and we have sex with who we want and we tell each other about it after over wine. We’ve gone to sex clubs together and alone (pre-covid, of course). I’ve gone to a few orgies in the past. Etc. Etc.

I’m about as much the opposite of OP’s friend as there could be and I would definitely not want to go to someone’s stripper party. Nothing against sex workers – that is their life to live. But sexuality for me does not mix with money and I don’t like the whole culture around it, and I could imagine myself being really uncomfortable in a situation like that and just not wanting to be there instead of going and being the wet blanket who ruins other people’s good time.

I would especially not pressure someone else into going if they weren’t comfortable with it. Like WTF.” – HyacinthFT

11.

“It’s not even about being comfortable with nudity. It’s about boundaries in a relationship. I am fully comfortable with going to a strip club. Going to a bachelorette party with stripers. Sounds like a fun time. If I was single. If I am in a relationship? Nah, that shit’s not cute to me, I wouldn’t be ok with my partner doing it and I wouldn’t do that to him as well.” – facethemusic016

12.

“it’s me, i’m uncomfortable with nudity. maybe it was my upbringing or i’m just a prude, idk, but strippers make me extremely uncomfortable, especially male ones. they always want to pick me up or take a dollar out of my cleavage and it’s just…no. i would 100% have said no to attending that bachelorette party” – fucktheroses

13.

“I am entirely comfortable with nudity but not strippers. Oily dudes waggling their trouser snakes in my face, no thank you. If I was the bridesmaid OP would’ve had the dress and anything else associated with the wedding posted to her with no contact after refusing to take no for an answer. Some people are not happy to support any kind of sex work and no one has the right to force it on anyone. YTA times a million bridezilla, your day doesn’t trump other people’s morals.” – kathllinos

14.

“YTA. You’re trying to force her into doing something that’s clearly over the line for her. She gets to have boundaries just like anyone else. She’s not stopping you, she just doesn’t want to do it. Calling her a bad friend makes you a huge A.” – Poekienijn

15.

“This. YTA. A bachelorette party is to cut loose and have a good time. With everyone! Your wedding is the party where you get to be empress, this one is about having a good time.” – FanofYueFei

16.

“I was the friend in this situation once, and if the bride had acted like this I would’ve had to cut ties. I am not a club person or a late night person, and strippers are a boundary line In my marriage. We were supposed to go to one bar after dinner, nail salon and wine/painting. Ended up club/bar hopping till like 4 am, then they decided they wanted to go to a strip club. I played along with the club hopping and tried to not be a wet towel, I didn’t try to stop anyone from the strip club, but I stayed in the lobby. I think the brides sister was pissed, but thankfully the bride was super chill about it.” – Monkey_with_cymbals2

17.

“I’m usually the friend who’s boundaries tend to be a little more unbreakable (?) or strict (?) so I feel hard for the friend. I would not allow her to push me into breaking those boundaries just so she can have her way. When I (or anyone) crosses those boundaries, it’s an instant panic attack. How fun would OPs party be if her friend had the same reaction and had to leave anyway?” – Tashianie

18.

“YTA – you really aren’t important enough to disrespect someone’s marriage for some stupid party.

Also, there is a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Why the hell are you inviting strangers to come rub themselves all over you? Not only are you vain, but irresponsible too.” – InternetSweetie

19.

“YTA. She clearly states that she is not comfortable attending a party with strippers and she even explains why, with reasons which I think are good reasons to not attend such an event. She says she is willing to join the party after the strippers leave, so what is the big deal? That way both of you can have what you want: you have your strippers, she doesn’t need to see them.

You’re an absolute asshole for putting your friend in a position she clearly does not want to be in when she even offers an option that would suit both of you.” – groetjesthuis

20.

“YTA. You know she’s a reserved person. There’s nothing wrong with her not wanting to do it. I see your responses to posts get sidetracked on her husband controlling her whatever. He seems to have nothing to do with that it’s just not something she wants to do for her own reasons. You’re turning this into a friendship test. That’s crappy. She said she’ll come for the after party. Is nothing good enough for you?” – dart1126

The OP later added an update saying the bridesmaid saw her post and was not too happy about it:

“Alright guys, I get it, I’m a major asshole. I really didn’t expect it to blow up this much. June ended up seeing it, I didn’t know she had reddit. It hasn’t gone well. Her husband called me and said some really rude things because June has been crying ever since she saw it. I guess I’m going to have to go deal with this now.”

You can read the entire post here.

More bridesmaid drama: