Patricia Grisafi
Sometimes, it feels like guys only think with their penis. From stories friends have told me, this often ends in a lot of regretful (or funny) situations.
On Reddit, people are sharing moments when they thought with their penis instead of their brain.
Redditor u/Header_Guard asked:
“God gave man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” — Robin Williams. What are some real-life examples of this?
And honestly, be careful! It seems like you guys are losing lots of money and also putting yourself in harm’s way!
1. Throw The Book At It
“I was living in a house share with a couple of mates back in uni and my door was right next to the front door. While my mates were out my girlfriend came over and decided to surprise me with a blowjob while I was gaming. A few minutes into it we hear the keys in the front door and realised she’d left my bedroom door wide open. In a sudden panic and a very blood deprived brain I picked up a textbook and hurled it at the door. My aim was (in my mind) the book would hit the door and close it…this did not happen it merely made a very loud bang. My girlfriend stops and stares at me like I’m a moron and my housemates come in to my room to see what the noise was.” — TheFozyx
2. Overpay For Shipping
“I bought a sex toy for $25 and proceeded to pay $30 for one day shipping.” — MaxNewton143
3. Overthinking
“Overthinking during foreplay and losing an erection.” — maxpown3r
4. On The Sex Offender’s Register
“My cousin’s (ex)husband sent dick pics to a ‘fifteen year old girl.’ It wasn’t a fifteen year old girl, but he’s still divorced and on the sex offenders register now.” — intdev
5. What Was I Saying?
“My bf and I will be having a perfectly normal conversation, then I’ll start changing for bed and he just short circuits. Loses his train of thought, completely forgets what he’s talking about, and immediately comes to hold me. Every. Time. He’s seen me naked for the last 10 years…” — wheres_mayramaines
6. Nearly Crashed The Car
“My boyfriend and I were at the beach, I was still in my wet bathing suit and he was driving us home. I take my top off for ONE SECOND to put a dry T-shirt on and as my head is in the shirt the whole car jerks and I think we’re both about to die. All for a glance at some soggy shriveled tits.” — jackmeawf
7. Marriage
“My first two marriages.” — SmugDrunk
8. Morning Wood
“Morning wood. Your wood is energetic but your brain is tired. Simple!” — redditorialy_retard
9. Running Off With A Teenager
“My favorite are the guys who drop everything to run off with a teenager. As if that’s going to work out.” — dudinax
10. Don’t Sleep With Your Neighbor
“Like last week when I thought it would be not only convenient, but a good idea to go sleep with the Neighbor lady and it turned out she was an actual crazy person that I had to block and now lives on the other side of my living room wall…” — michaeltoes91
11. Autoerotic Asphyxiation
“The fact that autoerotic asphyxiation is a thing and that multiple people have died from it.” — sketchy5teve
12. Forgot The Groceries
“Girl behind the register started flirting with me. Bluescreened so hard I paid for my groceries but forgot to take them with me, didn’t realize until hours later.” — justalittleprickly
13. Choices
“Me choosing between jerking off to porn and going to sleep.” — jackbob99
14. Before You Go Out…
“You know how it’s usually a good idea to eat before you go buy groceries? Well that’s why I masturbate before going out in a bar.” — plague042
15. Free Food
“One time at the mall, I was wearing a dress that was pretty low cut, with a decent amount of cleavage. Decided to go to Auntie Anne’s for a pretzel. The guy working at the register kept staring at my chest and when I paid with cash, he proceeded to give me back the bill I originally paid with; along with my change that was supposed to be given to me. So not only did I get it for free, but I made a few extra dollars on it too.” — deliverydrama
16. Break The Cycle
“In my day me going back to my batshit crazy ex because the sex was incredible. Three different times. Somehow I finally found the testicular fortitude to break the cycle.” — athynz
17. Forgot Your Name
“I was on a date with someone last week; first date since the pandemic kicked off. I guess it was dark in the bar, because I was sharp as a tack that night. Engaged in great convos, made her laugh; but AS SOON AS WE LEFT, I saw the absolute stunning beauty of this woman. I forgot my name, where my car was, and even how to talk. I don’t think I formed a complete sentence after that until our date was over.” — Maquina90
Featured Image: Unsplash
