When sex goes well, it usually makes a boring story and an enjoyable memory. When sex goes bad, it’s the perfect thing to add to a thread on Reddit.
This one was posted by u/Rocker9835, who asked, “Have you ever practically walked out mid-sex? What happened?”
Not sure what I expected, but some of the reasons people stopped having sex mid-act aren’t something I could make up if I wanted to. Basically, anything that could go wrong has to these people. Sometimes it’s the fault of someone involved, sometimes it’s unfortunate timing, and often it involves an animal or sudden nosebleed.
These stories will either make you terrified of absolutely absurd stuff happening during sex, or give you some relief.
These people got through awkward boner killers. So can you.
1.
She kept insisting that I didn’t need a condom, “I’m infertile” was among her excuses.. Like I just met you on Tinder I ain’t raw dogging it. I just walked out. We didn’t do anything. —-anime-tiddies
2.
My wife headbutted me when tussling around in bed. Didn’t think much of it. Kept going, switched position with me on top. She commented that I was drooling on her face.
Thing is I’m not a dog, so I wasn’t drooling at all. Wiped my face with the back of my hand which came back wet.
Lights on. Blood all over the place. My nose was bleeding. I had bled in her eye…
Not as much a walk out since we still went to sleep together, but sex wasn’t on the menu for the rest of the evening. —Weedle13
3.
We hadn’t gotten very far, but I quickly moved down while she quickly moved up, and I broke my nose on her pelvic bone.
She suddenly flipped the absolute f-ck out, screaming at me about “ruining our night” as blood gushed out of my nose.
Mind you this was like the second date. She continued to yell at me about how I needed to fix this (a total accident) and I just cleaned myself up the best I could and went home. —SynchronizedCalamity
4.
This wasn’t the guys fault. I was bouncing on his dick and I accidentally bit my bottom lip really hard when I bounced. I started bleeding profusely on his chest and down my chin. We both stopped and ran to the bathroom. —AJD2242
5.
I did walk out. She bit my nipple so hard that it bled, and called me a p-ssy when I complained about it… —Smuckinfartass
6.
Yep
My boyfriend said he felt something hit his back like it dropped and hit hardish and move so we stopped and I check and nothing was there so we continued.
About a minute later I had my hand on my boyfriends shoulder and I feel something move on my hand I look and a huge house spider comes running over onto my face .
I screamed my boyfriend looked he sees the spider slaps it off my face and the pair of us get up and nope ourselves out the room throwing clothes on as we go danm 8 legs ruined our evening lol —corruptcoot
7.
Old gf, I was down under and noticed an metallic taste. It was dark but I wiped my face and my fingers were red. Well my dumbass asked if it was that time of the month, she said no.. so I scoot to the bathroom, and it looks like I’m painted for clown school.
I get all cleaned up but I couldn’t figure it out. Then it hit me.. nose bleed. So I go back to my room, explain, she’s crying because she didn’t know what was going on. I calm her down and she goes to shower. 10/10 do not recommend. —cdn121
8.
The guy kept asking if he could remove the condom. “But I’m clean, I’ve been tested like 2 weeks ago! You can trust me!”
Yeah, right. After maybe the 6th or 7th time I got so pissed of I just up and left. —Gourdass
9.
I had an ex say her last boyfriends name in the middle of the act. I wasn’t even insulted because I knew she was a drama queen and the way she said it was so over the top.
“Oooooh my gooooooood ex’s name, you are amazing. Never stop!” in a way that no real life human speaks outside of movies.
I wouldn’t have been mad if it had been accidental, mistakes happen, but the fact that she was doing it intentionally so she could have a dramatic scene straight out of The Notebook or some other garbage romance movie. —SLUPumpernickel
10.
Once i was going down on someone i had slept with only once prior, and when i touched his balls i felt little bumps on them (all over).
I pretty much froze, thought it was an STD and panicked.
I left the room as gracefully as possible and we talked about it after.
Turns out it was fatty lumps that he’s had since childhood and been checked numerous times. Don’t know the medical name for it. Not an STD. —eleonora6