21.
It was after a date, we went back to his place, foreplay had gone nicely so we were continuing on to sex and he tried going in without a condom. I stopped him and asked what he thought he was doing, he stared at me super confused and was like “um, don’t you want to have sex?”
I pointed out the lack of condom, he said he was fine without one, I told him it wasn’t happening without a condom, he said he didn’t have any laying around, I told him I had some in my purse and if he didn’t like the brand or whatever then we could go to the store and get some he liked.
He said it’s killing the mood so I told him not to worry about the mood, got halfway dressed and left. When I was a few blocks away from his house I finished getting dressed and went to a store, picked up a magazine, bought a face mask, and some stuff for a bubble bath. Turned out to be a pretty nice night when I got home. —2baverage
22.
Finally met a guy I’d worked with for years, phone-based and we’d flirted continuously since we’d ‘met’
Went back to his, had the most mind-blowing, desperate sex I’ve ever had. Just as we came to the grand finale, his kids walked in.
He forgot to tell me he had them this weekend, we most likely woke them up. We probably woke everyone within a 5 mile radius, I won’t lie.
He went to put them back to bed and I got dressed and left. It freaked me out to think that they may have seen us. —LeonardBetts88
23.
Yup. With my wife. While she was on top, I tried to sneak out a fart and instead shit the bed…literally. There was no way to wrap it up and then rush her out so I could discretely clean up.
So I just said “babe wait, my stomach hurts” she laughed and said “oh is that what that was? I’ll get you a towel.” Love that woman! —Obiwan_ca_blowme
24.
My Ex GF went with me to a minor league baseball game years ago and they held a ghost pepper wings eating contest during the game.
Eat the lot and survive 15 minutes without water and you’re the winner. I considered myself a daredevil in the day and signed up. I won over all and got my name announced and won some gear.
My ex was pretty impressed and I felt like the man. We headed home after I drank copious amounts of water and washed my mouth out. I even brushed my teeth once we were home.
We were finally alone and getting hot and heavy. Thinking I’m being a generous lover I go down on her, suddenly she yells and runs to the bathroom. Even hours later and my mouth feeling fine, the scovilles transfered to her nether regions and caused her a good bit of pain until she took a shower.
Understandably she was no longer in the mood. Became a very funny story for us both even after splitting up and remaining friends. —stwiz
25.
I had just come out of the closet a few weeks beforehand, met a guy at a bar, was sorta nervous when he invited me back to his but thought I’d go with it. It was one of my first sexual experiences with a guy.
When we get down and dirty and he whips it out and tells me to go down on him, I’m still super nervous but excited and start sucking dick like I was born for it.
Dude gets his phone out and starts playing f—king CANDY CRUSH.
I took his dick out of my mouth, just silently dressed while he shouted questions at me, and left. —goodintent
26.
I was on my back, she was on top. Her cat took a shit on the pillow next to my head. We laughed but couldn’t get back into the mood. —satans_sparerib