If you’re a single person like myself, you know that navigating the murky waters of today’s dating world is a bit of a nightmare. There’s no telling what you’re going to get, but a good sense of humor can make all the difference.
Thankfully, Twitter is full of hilarious people who are struggling just as much as the rest of us. These are just a few of the funniest tweets about dating in 2018, you’re welcome.
if you're on a date and really not feeling it, say "poultry bosom" when ordering the chicken breast and the other person will just leave
— The Hypester Coffee Shop Frequenter (@TheHyyyype) July 9, 2018
so no one told you life was gonna be this way pic.twitter.com/V6FnrtENtE
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) June 25, 2018
Okay I have a confession to make- I once held my own Bachelorette contest where I matched with a bunch of guys on tinder, went on dates with them and slowly eliminated the ones I didn’t like. It was the most dramatic season yet and no one got the final rose
— E$ (@erinlyman36) June 25, 2018
FRIEND: Just don’t be awkward on the first date.
ME: Awkward? I’m never awkward.
[on the date]
ME: Will you walk me to the bathroom?
— Consider John Frazzled (@FrazzleMyGimp) June 26, 2018
(brings date to the bedroom) will you check under the bed for monsters
— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 16, 2018
[Watching sex scene in a movie]
Date: These scenes are so unrealistic
Me: I know like he hasn't even apologised yet
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) July 1, 2018
her: say those three words and i’m yours
me: oppa gangnam style
— viking! (@NOTVIKING) July 15, 2018
Her dad: I want her home before midnight
Me: but you already own her home
Dad: *turning to daughter* if you don't sleep with him, I will
— your bff alex (@psybermonkey) June 20, 2018
girlfriend: don't tell my dad we have sex, he freaks out that i'll get pregnant
her dad: hey bud you coming inside?
me: [clearly panicking] what no, i would never
— cory (@_coryrichardson) July 17, 2018