Chrissy Teigen has been very openly talking about her experience dealing with the loss of her third child, Jack.
Teigen miscarried her baby last fall after a lot of medical intervention. She has posted that she will likely never be able to carry a baby again and is still recovering from the pregnancy itself, plus she just had surgical treatment for endometriosis.
If that weren’t enough, this is the week that Jack was due, and Teigen has written on social media that her grief has resurfaced in a fresh way.
She shared a series of pictures from a shoot for “Wild,” a music video for her husband John Legend’s new song.
She says in the photos, she was ten weeks along and “out of my mind happy.”
“I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end,” she wrote. “I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks…not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so.”
“He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak,” she continued. “I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
“This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule. Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. and I love you jack. I miss you so so much,” she concluded.
Sharing even painful memories and feelings can be a relief, and it seems like Teigen appreciates the support that comes from living so publicly. And the people who have gone through the same thing in silence appreciate it, too.